Monday, April 30, 2007

Weeee

I know this is going to be ultra random, but, i miss salmon sashimi and california maki so much!

Crave... crave... and crave even moreeee.

What is love?

The feeling of falling deep into an emotion and drowning yourself in it, 真叫人陶醉.
Let yourself go, let yourself fall deep into something you've never dared to, you'll experience new things you've never experienced before, it's momentous.

More importantly,
it's special and worthy.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Hatred

I'm glad that at least someone in this Earth, knows hatred do not solve any problems at all.
The burning hatred in fact has a reverse psychological effect on your personal life. It doesn't affect the person you hate, it just affects your own life.
The person that you simply hate, might just be well off moving on with life, not even thinking about you. And yet, there you are still living in the moment of trying to hate the person.

To not repeat mistakes is to forgive and let live.
Instead, learning from other's mistakes and not committing the same exact mistake you hate.
The cliche thing is that, whilst hating this person so much, you change and behave exactly like the person you hate. Irony.

Always be kind, to yourself, and to others. Don't suppress yourself with feelings of hatred, nor anger. It'll just repeat themselves again, right in your own future.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Help

I have a compelling urge to offer my help.
Some how, some way, any way.
I've put my 'childhood' dreams a past thing.
Pursuing a different direction once again.

Inspire and giving


Love... is all it takes.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Family Ties

I think nowadays almost a lot of us don't appreciate family ties anymore.
How many dinners do we eat together as a family? How often is Sunday regarded as "Family Day"? We take our family for granted, because we live with them, we get to see them every day. I think family ties are as important as maintaining social life.

The purpose of a Family Day is to bond families together. Meaning to spend time interacting with each other, be it a simple outing, it's still time spent together.

Ironically, nowadays, people simply can't wait to leave their homes, away from their family members. Even if they do stay at home, they are instead interacting with inanimate objects, namely the computer or the TV. They find happiness and value in spending time outside with friends. Such circumstances varies, but i still think maintaining family ties is as important.

Family is always there for you, whether you are ugly, penny-less or disabled. Family is there to share the joy as well. Family grows together. That's what family is about.

Love

Recently, it's getting very common seeing homosexuals around us in our society. The more common we see are lesbians; since i don't know any gays personally well enough to comment anyway. Actually, being around with lesbians, there's a notable difference in their relationship as to a BGR.

The thing that girls are more lovey dovey kinds, with the sweet mushy messages and all, it's quite the most obvious thing that is present in the relationship that they do in fact write so many love notes to each other. The small little cute stuffs and presents they get for each other and so on. Comparing to a BGR, guys don't really see these notes as little things that make a difference. Even if it's just a little note, it actually can brighten someone's day.
It's as though girls understand each other too well, that communication need not be present and they connect through the mind.

More often that not, we see the people around us go into BGRs that doesn't last long anymore. Not in the modern society we live in. It's a simple hi, go into r/s, then break less than 2 months. There's rarely any substance anymore. More so for the younger gen, flings we call it. Because we just want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, for the sake of having a boyfriend/girlfriend. Falling for the gender, if that's what you call it.

But homosexual love, ah, they fall for the person. Note: the person; not gender.
I have a feeling someday as things are not as conservative anymore, homosexual love have a higher chance of lasting longer than BGRs.

What do you think?

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Stand still

Today is one of the very memorable days spent carefreely... with you.
If only time could stood still.


All i wanna do is ....
And i did.

Found a way back into love.

Friday, April 20, 2007

#

After a long long time being so alive and kicking, this body of mine decided it needed a break.

Yeah, that meant breaking my stomach, throwing every single drop of food/digested liquid and whatever up.

Unbelievably, Chanel has exactly the same illness right now.
Although hers is stomach flu, and mine's food poisoning, but we all have an additional viral infection! She puked 7 times in all and i puked 5. I think it's because of the timing of our births huh? xD Aye... dear nel nel, poor thing! Must take care of OUR bodies ya. Don't want a merlion with me. Merlion throws water out you know, not vomit :P

I can't believe i missed 3/9's Chem presentations!
Why must i fall sick on that stupid day and not some other days with boring lessons. =(

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Searching for answers...

My life's a zillion times better than the billions out there in this world.

But somehow... i don't know why; there is this dark, hollow empty feeling in me somewhere tugging from time to time.

Short-lived motivations and constant 'back-to-reality' reminders keep me going.

If one part of me fell away, i don't know how i'll cope. I really don't know.


Other than that, it's a pleasure to have old memories coming back, old fun relived again.
Past that can't be rewind and only remain in memories forever...
I know it's quite emotional right now.
I bury myself in storybooks to pass time.
I haven't been studying, cos' i can't focus and my willpower's running pretty low. How?

The horror begins next week.

P.S Chanel is a walking laughing machine. She goes everywhere with her maniac laughter that never fails to cheer my day. Ho, i know you've been waiting for this, thanks girl.

Monday, April 16, 2007

The Past

Don't know why, the past few days i've been missing my childhood times so much. Especially those times i had spent with my uncle and cousins.

Both my parents were very workaholic during our(bro and i) young times. Back then, my uncle managed his own business so he had loads of time spent at home in his home office. He would always pick us up and drop us at his house to play with my 2 cousins.
I knew how delighted i was each time he called to say he was coming over to fetch us. We'd spend the rest of our afternoons at his house having fun with the 2 boys. Block catching, computer games, skating, badminton, football, the companion of his 2 dogs back then(from an aquarium to a Jack Russel, to 2 Miniature Schnauzers to an aquarium again for now), occupied most of our time.

He was the one who brought us swimming, booked badminton courts, introduced us to inline-skating. He brought us out for meals. He taught me to appreciate the oldies. Cos' whenever i'm being ferried around, he always tunes in to Class 95. Basically, he showered me with love and care, and treated me like his own daughter. I knew he loved me more than he loved my brother, cos' he had no daughter and always wanted one to pamper. Ha!

Until now, he still loves me as much and what pains me is that i've not been spending time with him already. It's kinda sad that when i've grown up, i seldom make an effort to see him.

He'd taught me to see a different side of living that i'd never see with my own parents.


Last time, many cousins were very jealous of us. The fact that both parents were workaholics, they were earning a stable income for my brother and i to live comfortably. My cousins always thought it was so unfair that we had a much bigger house to live in, a luxurious car, a maid and often had treats at restaurants. Back then, i didn't appreciate all this materials.

As a child, i yearned so much for the kind of life my uncle led. It was very much simplified. He sacrificed high-paying jobs, just to spend time with his kids. He loved them dearly, and my cousins never really understood why we weren't happy back at our own home.

Actually, my parents never really understand what kids want and need. It's not about all the toys that they will get or how they get to spend money so easily that really mattered. Kids are very innocent beings, all they want is just love and attention from their parents.
It really is, as simple as that.

And, thanks to my uncle... i've had a wonderful and blissful childhood.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Touchy feely

I realised that i've changed quite a bit recently. As i try and get more into being understanding and caring for the people around, i'm starting to get quite affected and emotional easily as well. I think it's quite a good sign that i'm changing right? He he...
My journey since 2005 in this blog has been full of changes... is still changing and will always change... for the better.

Tanya will be coming back tomorrow! I'm so glad everything will be the same in school again!
And i finally have a new school bag. The old one served me more than 5 years already. =D

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Will

Ah, no more headaches.

I'm inspired to live a better life...

Monday, April 09, 2007

Crashed

My Windows XP system broke down on me. All files' gone! Gotta reformat.
All my pictures... all my songs... my every every thing, GONE for gooood.
This sucks.

Headache ar headache...

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Moving on...

Some things have irreversible changes maybe for the better, maybe for the worse. Try; it doesn't even have to be hard, is there any point in your life, that you've done something and it has a permanent change for the future...?

I can think of loads... cos it's where i've reached another junction at this point in time, making a decision to where my new journey begins.
Will it be better, or will it be worse? Time will tell when i make progress.

I have too many things running through my mind... sometimes they even inter-link with each other with no sense at all. Virgos, worry a tad too much.


Ha! i wonder if every part of my life is called 'being stupid'.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Inner thoughts...

About 60,000 thoughts run through our mind each day. How many of these thoughts are positive? and how many are negative? I believe that most of us have more than half the thoughts filled with negative thinkings.
Most of the time, i have doubts about myself. "Can i do this?" "What will happen if i did it?" "Am i able to succeed?" These doubts then hold myself back from what i wanted to do so much.

For the past few months, i don't know why i had the habit to start pouring myself with self-help articles, books, and stories online. Mostly, motivational and inspiring in leading the life i want. Previously, i did not exactly trust the 'power' of such books. I thought it was quite a bunch of crap of telling people who didn't know what they wanted in their life to do.
But presently, i can prove that it's quite wrong. I started seeing the link in these teachings and philosophies to daily life, and realised that they are actually true to some extent.

Remember what i said in some much older posts about waking up to a morning thinking different thoughts? And these thoughts will determine the rest of how your day will be like? Actually this was an essential way to start a day. I did it without knowing that i was actually doing it.

Every morning, i lay subconscious on the bed for the first few minutes, then slowly getting more conscious, i'd stretch myself and feel relaxed and imagine all the sores flowing literally out of my skin. Then i start to picture how my day would be like. I picture all the positive things that'd happen in the day. Surprisingly, it had quite an effect on me.

Past weeks, i realised i have attained quite a bit of inner peace in me. Some of the times in the day, i start to note my heartbeats, breathe in deeply, and relax my mind. My mind doesn't get distracted as easily as it was in the past.
And i've actually been so much calmer as well. I take in things rationally and then react to how my heart wants me to, considering the consequences as well. I think this is how i want myself to continue growing.

People might wonder, don't i ever lose my composure at all? I'm always the calmest. Calm to the point of not feeling at all, i think, ha ha! Well, who knows, my mind is actually in a frantic mess, but i still am able to portray such a calm composure. Haha, not exactly actually. Like i've said, i'm slowly starting to improve the quality of my thoughts and able to sort them out quite well.

Not much secret to all these, i still am my vibrant self with all this peace in me though. I have a lively childish side to me as well. Keke...
Much to finding out more about myself and noting the changes as i grow.

The secret to happiness? To do something you love doing, and put all energy into the doing.

Still on the journey to finding out that...

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Matter of time...

Everything is going well for everyone... Good news soon to come... Hehe.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

The Number 23


Alphabet The letter W is the 23 letter of this alphabet. The symbol for that letter is two points down and three points up.

Apollo Lunar Landings 1 & 2 First landing on the Moon was in the Sea of Tranquility, 23.63 degrees East. Second landing was in the Ocean of Storms, 23.42 degrees West. Notice the names of the picked sights and how they contrast. Note: First two landings were Apollo 11 & 12 (11+12= 23!). Just exactly what does NASA know?

April 19th As in 4-19... 4 + 19 = 23. April 19 is the date the Battle of Lexington, Waco, and the Oklahoma City Bombing... (4+19=23).You connect the dots.

April 23rd William Shakespeare was born and died on this date. Most of Shakespeare is known to us through the first folio published in 1623.

Artists Marketed As U2 U is the 21st letter in the alphabet added to the number two gives you 23.

Average Lunar Cycle Average Lunar Cycle is 28 (23+5) days.

Ceasar Ceasar was stabbed 23 times when he was assassinated.

Chromosome Pairs The human body has 46 chromosomes, which are paired, in somatic cells. Generative cells have half this number, 23, which is the number of chromosomes each parents gives to human deoxyribonucleic acid.

December 23, 2012 The date the Mayans believed the world will end. Hence why they were really obsessed with time and it's observance.

Pure coincidence?