Tuesday, July 31, 2007

CMI

I have no idea why i'm so tired lately.
Been coming back from school a bit later than usual because of NAPFA, then being a student helper the next day. All i wanted to do was to come home and sleep.
And no, i didn't.

But about dinner time, i'd just fall asleep till 9 then realised it's late and go for a late dinner.
Feeling so tired after that, and i didn't even touch a book at all. We have 3 consecutive C.As starting from tomorrow.

Why am i so tired! I'm sleeping earlier and earlier, but having puffier and puffier eyes everyday, if people don't know, they think i cried the entire night.
Very bad time management.

I feel like a sleeping dead pig.

Oh, btw,The day i knew Vic is the day my talents for being as irritating as hell are discovered. Ask her about it man.

Trust me, i mean no harm, neither am i mentally retarded. Hahaha. I'm just some harmless little hamster with the messy hair and weird antics at times.

Monday, July 30, 2007

NAPFA

Today's NAPFA quite funny sia. Those that i know i won't do well, surprisingly, still can make it. Then those i did not worry about, i almost couldn't make it! >.<
Is it really all in the mind?

I feel so insensitive and lousy today. Insensitive that i was selfish having fun alone and did not pay much attention to my dear dear tantan. I obviously knew there was something wrong since the start of the day. But i did not relentlessly pour questions all over her and shown at least more concern! Tan, you might be reading this someday, it's hard for you to open up and tell us what happened, but it's harder for us to care and be there for you when you don't allow us to.
Love and be loved. You have to love yourself, then we can love you. If you don't even accept yourself, how will you be able to accept care from others?
Please do not keep everything to yourself and slowly allow yourself to tear apart from all these. There are many people who are more than willing to lend a listening ear even if we are not in any position to comment or advise. Let it all out... you'll feel much better, and i want to see you in your happy/crazy state again. Cheer up!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Cherish

I felt so warm and loved...
Your dearest mommy and your darling bf together with yourself... happily together...有说有笑的...
我看了觉得自己非常幸福美满...

世界上最幸福的女儿和女友~

虽然生活上的点点滴滴非常复杂,但忙忙碌碌中,又回到了快乐和充满了爱的怀抱里...
我真的是像活在天堂似的...

你呢?

Pesta Sukan

Pesta Sukan Recreational Carnival yesterday was very fun! =D

It's been a long long time since i'd participated in such games. A year anniversary since i've stopped training with the school team. =)
I'm proud of my own performance and play on court.

What an achievement! =D

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Cross-dress

I think i can consider being a bung liao right, quite chio and shuai also sia, not baddddd. The pose so sei also. Hahaha!

Ta-dahhhhh! My lovely shuai ge is the real shuai one. Hoho.

2 crazies fooling around, so VAINN! Hahaha =p

Monday, July 23, 2007

Battle of the Bands II

These are some of the pictures from BOB.

While waiting for my 'chauffuer' to send us to ACS(I)....

All high and excited

These are some of the pictures from BOB. For more of them which i'm too embarrassed(got some ahem, not very glam pics) to put up you guys can go to elaina's blog for more. http://www.thesweeetescape.blogspot.com/

First hand experience of a 'live band performing'. Now, i'm not talking about those jazz bands you see at the open-concept pubs where passers-by can enjoy the music as well.
This battle is one where 'who-fires-up-the-place-the-most-will-win'. The songs were all rock and quite heavy on the instruments, i can barely hear the singers, not even their voices.
Maybe it's not my type, but it's still cool watching musically inclined people jam their things up there. I think i'd prefer the softer ones where the singers' are more audible than their instruments.
I think our school displayed our school spirit very well. None of the schools could beat our support for each other. I think till this day, i've never regretted to be part of the TKGian family.

BOB aside, i got a wake up call recently.

Nothing really specific actually, but i've been holding onto certain things very hardly. I just can't seem to let go.
And now that i've tried letting go, it opened my mind a lot. Partly BOB did open my mind up a little. ;) It's damn vague, i know.
What's yours is yours, what's not, will never be.
After learning how to let go, i feel much lighter in the head.

There's always too many opportunities and chances out there. If i don't get it once, there's many to come.
I wonder... which speaks louder?
Actions or words?

I think it kinda varies. Actions perhaps those that requires little or no words at all but you feel it in your heart. Words like empty promises don't mean anything. But words of concern does. I still can't get which speaks louder.

What a thing to be worrying about, definitely not at this time.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Marathon

I can't believe i'm running for Standard Chartered Marathon 2007! It's my virgin marathon!~ Ha ha ha! It's gonna be so exciting and cool!
Roughly about 4 months 2 weeks more till the marathon itself. I'll start training soooon!
Sure gonna be so fit fit liao. Wooooo.
Firmer legs and asssssss. Wahahaa!

Will anyone want to join me for a leisure run/jog/walk/stroll in the 10km women's category? =D
Check out more here : http://www.singaporemarathon.com/en/
The more the merrier!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Voiceless

Today's fund raising was a big success! Not forgetting our lit poetry analysis and presentation! Super high after school ended!
During recess, we set up our food booth to raise funds for our school needy pupils. It was a great success, because almost everyone from the class was there to help out. The crowd down there was amazing man. I shouted till i nearly had no voice. "CORN CUP CHEAP CHEAP $1.50 ONLY ARRR!" in that indian accent. Damn gay and funny sia.
Now my voice is all rough.

We made a total of about $452 profit in about an hour's time. Not bad huh.
It was a very good effort by everyone. I really didn't expect as much support from the rest of the more passive people in our class. I'm impressed.

Hope those of you who got some pictures taken to send me okay!~

Then after that, the class com and a couple get to skip almost the whole lesson to count the money collected and clear up the mess. Right after that, we had our lit presentation.

I think i'm getting more and more clown in class already. I'm like a joke. You look at me, then you laugh at me. Cos i'm so funny. Ha ha ha.

RIGHT.

Before the actual dramatisation, i was acting stupid to rehearse it once more. Gosh, i think my face skin damn thick. In front of half the class and i did such a embarrassing thing.

Oh no.

But overall, i'm glad we received good comments from the audience.
Proud we pulled off everything so well today! =D

Monday, July 16, 2007

O levels

It's a once in a lifetime thing. My chinese oral ended last thursday, it was quite okay, except the chinaman examiner was practically dozing off when i'm conversing with him. It was very rude of him lor. First time having exams in the school hall, the atmosphere was quite scary but i'm glad i was cool throughout, having a few 'shitting' moments here and there.

(Don't know why recently i keep farting, cheryl calls me the gas machine. Haha!)

And today was the listening comprehension. I think it's the MOE's way of allowing us to relax before the exam by playing those symphonic music on 92.4, but it got almost everyone too relaxed until we were dozing off before the exam.

I really can't believe term 3's tests and C.As are gonna start pouring in soon. Time flies and soon it'd be final year exams.

My thoughts are scattered here and there now.

One of the passages from the listening compre was quite thought provoking.
It was about human beings, and that we constantly change every second.
What you know of someone today may not be what you know of him right this moment. Maybe you know the yesterday's him.
And they quoted something.

If someone who had scolded you before sees you the next day. You'll remember his yesterday's behaviour and perhaps treat him coldly. Maybe today he wants to apologise to you. But you remember his yesterday, so you don't give him a chance at all and shun him. Then that actually makes you not understand him at all, because he has changed, and will always change by the minutes or hours. You know him by his past. Not his present.

Something quite interesting that i've never taken note of in my every-day life.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Inner World

I think it's time for a peaceful moment for me to do a reflection on life so far...

I've been so busy with everything that is happening that i've stopped reflecting, thinking, and pondering about life.
I think it's a good thing because that'd mean i'm occupying myself with a lot of things rather than falling back into my own world of thoughts; which most of the time is negative.

I haven't been reading much lately, or perhaps, i've even stopped reading already. I used to read some self-help topics to be a better person, and i think i'm using this time to apply the techniques.
So now, it's time to reflect and review the performance... Heh.

My life has taken a drastic change in year 2007. The environment, the people, the attitudes, and the changes have all been quite major. The unexpected happened, the unpredictable came.
I'd definitely learnt quite a lot on this journey till now.

I realise that many problems arise every single day. They may be small or big. But what really makes the difference is how we see the problems. I shouldn't really call them problems. Let's say it's a situation. I've learnt much about giving in and understanding how others feel.
I know there were many times i just feel so pissed at something, then i calm down and ask myself if it's really worth it, or are there other better solutions than being angry?

I am not impulsive to begin with, but i think i've definitely tame my temper much better now.
When i think back about it, i realised that actually there were many situations that could be handled much better. My reactions to them weren't all good.
But i know i've changed a bit for the better.
I learnt to be very sensitive nowadays. But still, my old habits come back some times. I'd say something so wrong that i'd regret the next second.

There was a period when i knew this word "happiness" didn't exist in my world at all. I felt it so badly. I'm touched by friends who were truly concerned about me. It's time i start to let go...

The biggest lesson i've learnt so far...

I know for every action, there is a reason behind it.
We don't become angry for nothing, neither do we blame others for their mistakes. Sometimes, we really just have to be extra sensitive and understanding towards our loved ones, which is what i call... love for the people around you.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Tiring!

Now i know it's tough being a netball coach.
Imagine handling about 25 Sec 1-3s recreational netballers that half of them don't listen to you, and another half don't understand what the hell you're going on about. Then the other quarter who stand there like a block of stone. Plus the whole bunch of Sec 1s are so slow in understanding instructions given.
I tried to be nice, but don't know why i just automatically became very serious.
And when i'm serious, i mean business. Don't play play.
I know i look like i'm about to scream and yell at everyone. Haha, but actually, i'm not that scary one lah.

It's quite tiring to manage the sec 1s. I'm surprised the person who's got that much patience can lose it so fast as well. I'm so patient at teaching people how to skate.
But, i think i lack the experience, loads of it, at coaching and managing people.
It's a good learning opportunity for me.

The sec 2s are the most well behaved ones. Probably cos' they have respect for me the senior one, and respond to my instructions very fast. The sec 3s think that we're all the same level, then no need to listen and respect one lah. While the sec 1s a couple of them don't have respect at all, and some sooooo scared of me. >.< Gosh. Sec 1s ought to be forgiven, it's a reacreational team anyways.

But so far so gooood, cos' my body's aching everywhere.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

I'm on a rollercoaster ride of emotions now...
When i'm busy and about, i'm happy. When i face the problems, i feel desperate.
No one seems to be helping; perhaps i'm the only one who can help myself.
But i really need some comfort and support... i'm at the point of breaking down when i know i'm faced with many adult matters that as a child, i shouldn't be pressured with, and yet i am.

I really need some form of release... cos' i can't even numb myself from it.
It's yet another tortorous point in my 15 years of life, and i thought the final one was at 12.

Sigh...~

It's very tiring mentally.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Happy Note

Looking at the bright side of life like i'm a pro at that always, i have an instinct that tells me i will lead a happier life.
I've still got many loved ones around me... and i appreciate it a lot, a lot.


It's OVER

Don't know if i can't wait for the 家庭会议 tomorrow or not. I doubt it'll have any significant changes since there were too many significant changes that had already taken place. Things are all confirmed. Goodbye to daddy? Hello to new life?

Is this really what i've been hoping for...?
Will everyone be much happier this way?

Time will tell....