Monday, July 28, 2008

I'm clouded

There are always many junctions in our lives that we are forced to make a decision to continue the journey of life. I have reached one, and i can't decide. In fact, i know i will be arriving at many others in a few more months to come. Then, there are the little decisions we make every day to do the things we do. Choices i would call them, but are they really choices or are we free to decide? There are too many external factors that influence on the decisions we make, resulting in many forced choices.

I will be going for Detention in the coming week or next for all the numerous times that i've been late to school. I have a feeling i'm going to miss at least 4 days of Intensive Revision. I don't even know if it's supposed to be a good thing, since IR isn't exactly helpful all the time. Maybe the DC would help relieve me of the mental stress that's been crying far too long in my head.

I wonder if i should take the public transport to school by myself every single morning, or should i continue to rely on my mom. I'm really tired of being late to school every day when i so try hard to improve on the situation and nothing happens. I realised i've never taken public transport to school in my entire life since i was born. The privilege of getting sent to school by either a school bus during my younger days, or parents after i enter Secondary school; i took for granted.

Now i realize, is it too late to be independent?

Someday I've gotta learn. Who knows it might be now?

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Something to look forward to

This is gonna be really random that i have to start a post like this, but... CHRISTMAS IS COMING IN ABOUT.....

5 months time.

2005 Christmas felt like yesterday.

Can you imagine how fast we are all growing up?

Today my uncle was clearing out the things in his storeroom and i saw a couple of things i haven't seen since i was little. All the childhood memories left buried under the dust, slowly forgotten as time ticks life away.

I used to play with my cousins so much that i loved sleepovers at their house so that i could spend all my time with them. We'd always beg the parents to stay late at their house so we might get a 50% chance of sleeping over. Those little things that kids wished for...

Then, i saw a little football that the boys loved playing last time. Being the only cute girl around who didn't have the chance to play with barbie dolls(not that i would fancy), i always joined in with the tough and rough games boys fancied.

And now when i look back, i didn't regret a single bit about my childhood. It was sure a helluva fun time.

This is so nostalgic.
All of us have grown so much... yet there is still the kid inside us grinning mischievously. ;)

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

我的爱心午餐!

Last night at 11p.m, the mysterious guy rang the door bell. I wondered who it was.

He delivered a paper bag to my house and threatened me not to look into the contents until the next day's recess. I had no choice but to obey.

The next day, when it was recess, i peeped into the contents.

And displayed it on the canteen table.

Everyone went "Wah! Jac! *()!@*()@&$*@&!(&*(!&@*&$@*(" LOL.
I'm just kidding.

A little packet of milo, washed and packed strawberries, and a foot long baguette filled with tuna mayo in one, and salmon mayo in another. How blissful!

After school, Ruby and i were on the way to my house. At Paya Lebar MRT, we walked right to the end of the platform. When the train was arriving, with the headlights and all, smart Ruby decided to step across the yellow line and peep into the railway tracks. Train still coming nearer every second. Ruby still staying in the same position. Train let out a deep low "beeeep". I pulled Ruby back to safety. Train driver stared hard at Ruby with deadly eyes. I started laughing really hardly. If a car/bus/truck honk at you, it's still ok.

But a train honked at smart Ruby.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Kena cheated!

I don't know how else to put it lor, today was the day where i thought my mom would buy her first home by herself and i would secretly congratulate her deep down in my heart on how capable she is being a single-parent. I mean, how many single-parent moms these days can just afford a property without much thoughts as long as it stayed within the range of HDB flats. I'm contented.

But today, the seller of the house that we were interested in and was about to sign and confirm the deal, backed out from the sale! It was like a i-don't-wanna-sell-my-house-anymore-i'm-just-fooling-around-screwing-the-brains-of-buyers seller. What a waste of everyone's time! If you are not interested to sell your house then don't advertise so soon! I just wasted an entire week of my time viewing houses every night. Now we are shifting our focus to old enbloc-potential condos i.e mandarin gardens or leasehold 99 years condos. Hopefully, we can find one soon.

After last week's career talks, i am motivated to explore other options available. I know my interest lies somewhere in economics/finance/management, but i don't know if it will be the one for me in future. Remember how i was so keen in going to NAFA to do interior design? After pondering for really long, i keep asking myself this same question over and over - Am i really that creative to be able to produce top quality work? Because i know if i want to do something, i want to be the best in it. I need to feel a sense of achievement.

Then, alongside the influence from my mom about how she handles her finances, she kinda drilled a mindset that money is not as easy to earn as it seems.

She tells me she wants to teach me everything she can to make a sum of money grow into more money. When i see how much she considers about the various houses that we see, money, location, affordability and profit margin all are factors to consider. I love district 15 houses, but the prices are too steep. I don't want my mom to add an extra burden to finance properties her entire life. Whenever we drive around the area, i can't help but wonder how these people living in big properties manage to do it. There is this passion building up in me, about how much i want to succeed and accomplish in my life.

Whenever i tell her about how i want to do this and what i want in future, she'll say "you think money drop from sky is it?" Then when i share with her about other parents' successes, she tells me it's not as easy as it is seen from the surface. I know many teenagers these days look forward to getting many material possessions.

At age 18, we ask for debit cards.
At 21, we ask for cars.
At 25, we soon realize our parents worked very hard for the money and the stable financial wealth for us to enjoy because we're officially adults and running faster in the rat race. We realize the material possessions like cars and credit cards don't come as easy as it seem when we are in the working society. We need to work hard for it. There are loans to finance once you get a car, there are taxes to pay, there is the deduction of CPF contribution from your salary every month, then there is the allowance you give your parents. How much more is left for your material pursuits? What more if you have credit card bills to foot at the end of every month?

Once you gear towards marriage life, there is the consideration of buying a property to start a family. More loans to finance. More savings to be kept aside for the future education of your kids.
With inflation rising at an escalating rate, everything is going up, up, up.

But you realise the wages stay the same.

How are we going to survive?

Life in Singapore is too stressful; but then again, i know i'll end up somewhere that i'll feel a sense of accomplishment.

That's a perfectionist for you. I need to study really really hard.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Too long an absence

I've been missing in action for 2 whole weeks! Can you believe it?
School's been driving everyone nuts, i rarely have the time for the computer and myself.

Everyday's a day full of rushing to place A, then to place B and back and forth then to place C. And all of it, i'll not be on time. Tell me about it man, our lovely clique has never, ever been early for a single Intensive Revision session. The busiest day of the entire week would be Wednesdays and Thursdays. A whole day packed with school till 2, IR from 2.30 - 4. Tuition from 7.30-9.30pm.
When i reach home from all of that, i would be dead already.

And what is all this for?

The O levels.

In about less 3 months + time, all that we've been studying for the past 4 years would be put to test.

How exciting.

6 points ooohh 6 points~