Saturday, July 23, 2011

Nurture potential part II

In continuation to a previous post, I have found an answer which had been lingering in my mind all these while. I mentioned that I can't even remember the last time she complimented me, because, I found out the truth last night; there simply wasn't anything commendable about me at all. I blatantly asked if I had any strengths at all when she was going on and on about all my weaknesses, and the answer I got was none. I didn't have any at all.

After 19 years of my life here, she couldn't even name a single strength of mine. She only went on and on about my brother's strengths in comparison to my weaknesses. I stopped her short and broke it, "do I have any 长处?" and she said she really couldn't thought of any.

I am merely a clammed up person, with so much flaws, so much imperfections and the failure to meet so many of her over-exceeding expectations.

Tell me, how do I go about filling this hole in my soul?

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Universal Studios Singapore

If not for my cousin coming from the States, I don't know when I'll ever trod into this side of Singapore to feed our tourism revenue. The last time I'd been to Resorts World Sentosa was for work, and it wasn't that much fun because we had a tender interview, and the RWS department that called for the tender wasn't all too pleasant to deal with. That was indeed bad. And another time when I went with Sean and Chanel for a nice little touristy tour where Sean seemed to be the Malaysian bringing the locals around the attractions.

And for the real thing, this time, we paid a good deal to get into USS because of the 20% mastercard discount they're having right now. The place is like a circle so we started from Madagascar and covered all the attractions along the way. I am most impressed by the washroom standards there because one would normally expect it to be wet and dirty and disgusting because the volume of human traffic there is just high at whatever period of the year. And that's where it surprised me. There were 2 cleaners permanently stationed there to refill the rolls of toilet paper in the cubicles and drying up of the floors every time someone steps out. It's really good and commendable.

I have to admit I don't have much of a childhood with all these characters. Because I don't know their names and I'm just like wow... it's a dreamland for children!

I found the Revenge of the Mummy ride the most terrifying even with eyes closed because of the sudden jerking movements and the seats weren't comfortable for such movements! Another thing was because it was pitch black and the feeling of not knowing what's coming next takes the fear to the next level. They snapped a shot in the middle of the ride and boy, I was looking so epic. Yes, I vividly remember my fear. The best part of it all? Pam was sitting beside me and she turned out looking almost bored in the photo. Hahahahaha.

The all famous Battlestar Galactica attractions weren't as scary as they are made out to be. Shutting my eyes throughout kept my fear at bay. I took the Human ride (red) twice, once with eyes closed and the second time with them open. It's really not that scary. However, the Cyclon ride (blue) made me feel like I was going to lose my life. Somewhat. The safety measure was such that the buckle straps your entire body down, so I was grabbing so tightly onto the sides my biceps pressed again the cushion until it hurt so bad. I didn't know I was so stressed out. I could have honestly break a tile if I had to use that amount of strength when i climb. Hahaha! A pity I only rode it once. I would dare to open my eyes if I did it the second time. But honestly, I think I would freak out when it starts going sideways and upside down.

We took many pretty photos and I am thinking of developing them into an album for keepsake instead of just leaving them on Facebook. :D

We had dinner at Loui's. It was (i assume) an Italian restaurant that had amazing pizza. Amazing by Singapore standards, because my cousin from US thinks there are better pizzas over there. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it really much because it was really DAMNNN good. Or I was probably too starved already from all the exertion throughout the day.

The one good lesson from USS is to not queue at those attractions that tell you waiting time is 80 or 60 minutes! It's bullcrap, because the reward for waiting is almost nothing. So for USS wannago-ers, just take all the 5 min waiting time rides. They are truly more adrenaline-worthy!

And, yesterday my brother's 21st birthday just went by like that. So ordinarily for a 21st. We are all growing up already. No crazy expectations of celebrating it with a blast.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Outdoors

I realised that after this rock trip, I have grown to embrace the outdoors so much more. The comforts of home have kept me spoilt and pampered. Now, I feel like I can live out any camps in Singapore, because I really don't mind the dirt and grime from outdoors. All along with insects and animals, they come to form a beautiful picture of our Mother Nature.

How gross can any thing in a city be right?

Did I mention nothing beats peeing in the wild, because you don't have to find a toilet when you are urgently in need of one, it's everywhere. Hahaha. Oh yes, I have yet to do a big business outdoors, wonder when that time will come.

School is starting in 3 weeks. I feel so scared to lose myself in all the world of stress and madness, again. And I really can feel how fast I've grown... to trod into the beginnings of adulthood.

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Krabi 2011

As I sat there on the deck of freedom bar on many of the days there, zoning out, sometimes thinking about life back in Singapore, thinking about the work and people, I am so glad to be away for a good sustained period. 12 days were more than enough to let me lose track of time. It felt fast... but every day there was simply simple. Nothing to worry, same old same food and drink, that they become comfort food. Even the accommodation felt like home every night after a long day outdoors. It wasn't really all about climbing. I just needed a good break from work, and this was it.

Now I'm so afraid of going back to the dreaded place. Unpleasantries linger around.

I appreciated the simple life back there.

But I appreciate Singapore and my life back here so much more because I realise I am really privileged to have all that I have right now. It feels like a good reminder to myself to be grateful and contented.

Personal log of the climbs I've tried/done there:

Dum's Kitchen
Schlingel Moritz - 6a
Schlingel Max - 6b

Tyrolean Wall
Missing Snow - 6b+

Tonsai Wall and Roof
I No Speak England - 6b
Tidal Wave - 7b
Hin Rong Hai(Crying Rock) - 6c

Fire Wall
The Groove Tube - 6a
For Helga - 6b

One-Two-Three at Railay
Giggering for Climbing - 5
Short and Savage - 6b
Old Route - 5
Make A Way - 6a+

The Nest/Wild Kingdom
Whacky Weed - 6a
Techno Bug - 6a