Skepticism

I found myself nodding albeit a bit furiously in agreement to Ms. Kwan's statement about parenting not being easy at all. It was as if, for a moment, the both of us had this mindset about parenting being tough when surprisingly, we're both not even parents, yet. Ever since Guan Hong mentioned about Ms Kwan's comment that she felt I was a deep thinker, I have this constant awareness of the look in her eyes whenever she glances at me in class, and she has the piercing eyes that looks as if she's performing psychoanalysis on me.

I have developed a certain level of pragmatism about relationships and people and about most things in general. I wonder if I'd turn out like this very teacher of mine, because I find many things in common between the both of us: fiercely committed to 'walking the talk' and doing rather than talking, what we believe is right.

That's not very optimistic for Singapore's fertility rate, because it would mean one less mother to contribute to Singapore's pathetic replacement rate. But then again, I'm not completely consumed by the idea of singlehood; with still some hope left for the future of Singapore complement with whatever youth I have left in me.

The old soul in my young body feels weary these few days in school. I find myself having grown completely out of the idea of having to have the world liking me all the time. At some point, there's bound to be someone who disapproves or disregard me as a person for who I am. And unless it's someone I truly care for, it affects me in the slightest bit. Thanks to my mom, I see revelations of these values she so painfully taught it to me when I was younger - there's no need to sacrifice your own happiness by pleasing everybody.

On a side note, I'm entertaining this thought of mine to have a gap year after A's to pursue my interests in all the various fields before I settle down and apply for a course in Uni. With the rigid education system of the inflexibility to switch majors in Uni, I'm having the considerations of thinking through thoroughly and experiencing what I truly desire to do in the one year because it concerns what I will be doing with the next half of my life. Should I? Because that would defeat my purpose of 'taking the shortest journey' by going to a JC and then leveraging with the poly people with their 3 year diploma.