Scholarship

I have had many things going smoothly for me for all the years in my life. Almost every practical driving lesson I had with various instructors gave me new insights to different requirements and expectations. One instructor which I particularly had the most lessons with loved to question me about academics related things. It was, in his perspective, helpful to gain some updated information about the education system as his children are slightly younger than me and would be going through the same path as me in time to come. One particular question he posed to me got me thinking. He asked if I had ever failed any national examination before, and I replied no. Then he knew about my job and how I got it due to relations. And he said something that struck me, "you really have everything going so smoothly for you in your life".

And since then, I've been thinking about it too. All through my schooling years, I've never been one of the brightest students or the average. I'm always floating somewhere in between the best and the good. Getting into recognised schools and always faring just above average.

I really have never had a setback before. Not a failure to deal with. Not even a crisis. Even though I might not be making it into those top courses, at least I'm still going into a recognised university. So pampered and sheltered in this life, I am merely hungry for knowledge.

The disaster in Japan seems so far away in my life, simply because I can't fathom it happening to me.

There has been so many things happening in the office. Changes and crises, politics and rumours. Humans are so difficult to handle. If I really had to trace all troubles to its root cause, it eventually leads to money. Money can never co-exist with humans. I don't know how it has made lives better, maybe physically more comfortable and convenient, but the quality of life has been going in the opposite direction. We are all quite absorbed in our own little world, always subconsciously thinking of other people's intentions and motives, especially negative ones, and jumping to conclusions on our own. The brain may have neurons to make these connections and associations very quickly, and it sure does have its down sides.

As I get older, I become more wary, more cautious of the world. The guard gets stronger and tougher to break. Trust is something so valuable. Like friendship, it requires years to build, but only a moment to destroy.

And for now, the largest incessant worry is the personal statement I need to write for NUS's scholarship application. An exceptional achievement that highlights my academic interests and intellectual capacity. Great. Any ideas, someone?