幸福就在眼前

Amidst fun and laughter in school, we are all facing immense stress from the mid-years looming just overhead. Couple of funny things today...

Vic: "你不要装可怜啦。"
Me: "我不用装，因为我是很可怜的。"

Then during Lit Intensive Revision after school, while Belle was furiously writing notes, Vic and i were daydreaming away...

Vic: Why is Belle copying notes today? She doesn't do that normally... must be 临时抱佛脚"
Me: "我都还没抱到佛脚啊!"
Vic: "我星期二才抱佛脚."

This is what's going on in Vic's mind all day or probably more... don't think i don't know =p

My heart skipped a beat

Today as i was walking up to class after recess, my heart started racing at higher speeds than usual. Then i felt a very thundering heart throb along the passage from my heart to my throat. I felt faint, dizzy and breathless.

I thought i was going to faint... it seemed like the movies where someone would just collapsed along the streets.

For the rest of the day, i had the slight feeling of it now and then...

My heart needs extra love from me...

I was so afraid it would stop beating for me.

Short Update

Since it's less than a day from the Mid-Year exams, you guys probably have noted the less frequent updates. I will keep it updated only once a week at least cos' i realised... (great realisation btw), that i have so much to cover topics and subjects in less than a week. That equals to all my time after school devoted to books and papers and whatnots. I have the compelling urge to stop hanging around Bs and Cs and hit at least 2 or 3 As for this exam. I have had enough of getting mediocre results, sounds good to 'maintain' the standard, but i think i need some extra push to do well.

Every morning i wake up, i start planning my day. It's a good habit that came quite naturally for me since i don't have much trouble getting out of bed.

Let me go off point, the reason why a lot of people have trouble getting out of bed in the mornings is cos they don't wanna turn in the previous night when they know they are obviously very tired. In this case, my mom loves leaving the television on through the night while she's happily dozing off on the couch. It's a very very very bad habit that i detest. Just don't understand why it's so hard to turn the tv off and head to bed for a good night's sleep.

Ok, as i was saying, once i plan out my day, i would climb out of bed and start off the day. THEN, comes the difficult part. I PROCRASTINATE when i want to do some studying. I hate this part. It's where the physical and mental part of me starts a war. The physical me wants to remain lying on couch doing a bit more of reading, while the mental part tells me i need to get off now and do some studying! Of course, the physical party always wins.

Maybe that's why i'm not getting my results.
Maybe that's why i need to start training my will power to overule the lazy part of me.
And maybe that's why i feel i always have not enough time when exams are drawing near.

Somebody save me~

Dazzling

3 consecutive days of extravagant and elaborated celebrations for the queen, Vic. If you don't call it extravagant and elaborated, i don't know how else you could call it. If i had the chance to cut three birthday cakes, blowing 16 small individual candles each time, it would really be a mind-blowing experience.

The most memorable birthday party i had was that of one during Primary 5, if i'm not wrong. Ever since, it was the first and last birthday party that i had. The rest of my later years were spent celebrated at a low profile. It's not that i don't like hosting parties, but rather i prefer quieter and cozy kinda celebrations. I think as i grow each year, i don't look forward to stuffed toys/games etc. anymore on my birthday, but rather, to the little hand-made/written notes and cards that friends spend the time to make.

I used to look forward to material items and requesting for expensive gifts from parents each birthday. Till a year back, i realised the thing that touch me most isn't how expensive a present is, but how much effort is put into making a card. Gone are the days where we write letters to each other, draw little pictures on handmade birthday cards for friends in primary school because of the limited amount of pocket money we had.

People might ask "what would you like for your birthday?"

"Just a simple card/note will do, for momento and sentimental value."

Everything depreciates over time, but not sentimental value, it does the exact opposite.

Self-worth

Perfectionists like me regard criticism as a failure for what i am trying to achieve, or have already achieved. Somehow, it has a bad effect because i will start questioning my self-worth. Since i am a failure, does it make me worthless as a person on the whole? I think the creator of human kind has his way of balancing everything. I realised that i am however very optimistic after a while. It's ironic how things actually should be like.

I came up with an equation today during Lit,

Pam & Tan --> Season + Ruby --> Italy = Clique Crisis

If we all decide to take a step back and not drown ourselves in the discussions of who's actually at fault, have we actually considered how fragile friendships can be?
Be it the whole crisis thing or not, sometimes, it takes both parties to create gaps and start filling it with misunderstandings. Then, it's proven many a time that it's a chain reaction. i.e If you expect someone to behave in a certain way, but he doesn't, then is it actually disappointment we feel or misunderstanding that the person doesn't really care at all? Then this will in turn lead to the person expecting, to feel not alright, causing the party he expects, to feel that he's not alright and everything sums up to a whole big misunderstanding and more sadness.

Certain things are better said, while the rest remain unsaid. The point is, it's such a fine line to differentiate these 'certain things'.

That leaves me in despair because i can't differentiate most of the times.


"With everyone caught up in their various pursuits all it takes is for a bit of effort, to spend some time, show some concern, buy a gift, drop a note. love is simply the giving of oneself constantly. for in the end its all about people, people who matter..."
Quoted from Des's blog.