Closure

I have finally gone about packing up all my things, which really isn't much. Bits and pieces lying around here and there which I have forgotten all about. Funny how the mind forgets when it wants to...especially when my memory is pretty good at remembering little moments.

I cleared the depths of the drawer and found a necklace made on 11.12.08 and at that moment, I was like "wow, I have absolutely forgotten about this" and it went into another drawer of all the other sentimental things. And while I was digging out my November posts of all the previous years, I chanced upon this one particular post at the last paragraph, and it struck me of how much good things that have happened to me and I have chosen to forget all of those. And it clearly got wiped out of my normally very good memory.

Then again, it's been a closure since and I have healed. I have so many of his things lying around. I should go around to returning them just as I move out. And honestly, I don't know why I don't have the courage to face/talk to him. How to return like that? Of all things that I have been confident, courageous, bold and sometimes fearless about, now I'm shrinking in cowardice when faced with matters of the heart.

As I watch this... and hear the emotions, I realise I still have a long way to go in developing emotions. True, heartfelt, even if heartwrenching but real emotions. I have covered so many literature texts, read so many love stories, analysed too many nuances. And yet, internally, I am really just a green horn in the subject of love.