I'm slowly drowning in all these again. The angel and devil in my mind telling me to do different things all at once. Should i or should i not? can i? will i be able to? will it even work? Gosh. Some sense got knocked into me by the harsh reality we're all in now. I should stop. Maybe i should. Then again, the devil in me wants to go on. Damn. Can't life be all that simple to handle, take things at a step, decide and move on with life without looking back.

Actually it's all that simple. I love myself for being a great multitasker; while at the same time, i hate myself for getting involved with so many unnecessary crap a fourteen-year-old shouldn't be in. Shouldn't we be enjoying what is available for now rather than thinking of the future and consequences that beholds. Selfish thinking. I can't do it.

So where do i belong? Somewhere that i've yet to find a good landing on.....Who's there to guide me through? Myself and no one else. Dependancy somehow doesn't have a strong grip in my dictionary. Yet again, i'd love to depend on someone to guide me through. Hai~ Life and its contradictions. I'm living in my world of delusions. Nothing seems to come true. Maybe it's not time yet. Hehh.