Sunday, December 31, 2006

“如果真正爱一个人,就会多了解他的感受”

也许有过自私的想法,但我已尽了力做我最好最好了。。。却不够的好吧。。。
有时候,可能是真得失去理智,不能冷静地想。。。我能原谅,但一次又一次被刺激,世界上最冷静最有耐心的人也会疯去。

亲情,友情,爱情。。。全都围绕着爱。有时,一个人不是不爱人,而是不懂得怎么表现他的爱,不懂得怎么爱一个人。就像第一局所现的 “如果真正爱一个人,就会多了解他的感受”。

不懂怎么爱一个人在我眼里只不过是个借口,真正爱一个人是不用口说,不用 “我爱你” 来显示爱。真正爱一个人,就会多明白他,多了解他的感受,多站在他的立场想。。。那就真正爱一个人了。。。

如果每个人都尽力多了解对方,对身边的人多关心点,付出多一点的爱,不就那么的完美吗?为什么在这世界上,还有那么多自私想法的人呢? 是我们政府教育方法错呢?还是这世界正是那么地残忍?我不明白。。。真的不明白;可能这一辈子也不会明白。。。

也许这是个事实我还不能够接受。

天真,我真的太天真了。


For English readers, this is the English version... (perhaps it has more meaning in chinese, i dunno')

"If you truly love someone, you would try to understand the person more"

As much as i had selfish thoughts lingering in my mind before, but i've tried my best, i've given my best... or perhaps not the best, yet.

At times, the mind loses its control, calm is never a word understandable by it.
I can forgive... however not to the extent where it happens too repetitively. However sane or calm a person may be, he will lose his sanity too.

Kinship, Friendship, Relationship, they are all about love. At times, it's not that a person do not love others, it's that they do not know how to love others.

Just like the main message that i'm bringing across "If you truly love someone, you would try to understand the person more"... in my opinion... It's just an excuse that one do not know how to love a person. Loving someone wholeheartedly requires no words to express one's love. It's something deep down that we feel in our hearts. It's this special connection that bonds all our loved ones together, that is, if we've given real love and opened our heart to receive others' love. "I love you" is just an over-rated phrase. Loving someone truly would only mean you tried understanding the person more, sparing a thought for their feelings, and always being very generous in giving out your love.

If everyone tried putting effort in understanding each other, showing more care to the people around them, loving them truly, wouldn't it be so perfect? Why, in this world must it be so harsh in reality...? With selfish thoughts in our minds.... is it the government's fault? Or the upbringing of one? I don't understand... i just don't understand.. maybe i won't in my whole life too...

Or perhaps... it's just a fact that i've never tried accepting...

Naive... I'm too naive my dear.

Can anyone prove to me that this is not the actual world we're living in? Or maybe, before expecting people to change, the first thing's to deal with oneself.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

2006

Reflecting back on 2006. Wonderful year of ups and downs.

Starting from school, term 1 has been down, term 2 up, term 3 down, term 4 same. That's my academic results. Oh well, wonder if it's the psychological thing in me. After working so hard for a term, tend to slack off for the next term, thinking i'm all good, i will do well again. Complacent!

Friends, we've definitely gone through so much together. Some people cried, forgotten if i've cried before, i doubt so though. I even made some people cry... hurtful. Not forgetting how much fun we had all together as a clique. Coming from different backgrounds each one of us, yet we managed to close the gap and be that close, sharing everything. The gossips, the eviillll plans to bully/sabo each other... HA! 2 years being together... some of us will be heading different paths, some ending up in the same class. Friendships will drift, it's a matter of oneself putting in the effort to keep it going, the future beholds. I have no idea what will happen too. As long as everyone keep an open mind about it, everything will be optimistic.
Another year older for everyone, we've definitely grown up from the past, learnt from the mistakes, reflected and moved on. People advance at different paces, i've learnt to give and take... we can't expect the world to be moving with you. People come and go... learn to 拿得起;放得下. Holding on will not do anyone any good... perhaps the memorable experiences we hold on to... move on and be a better person.
Each and every one of us will judge someone from their past actions/mistakes, hoping everyone will be keeping an open mind and view whoever you had grudges against the past year very open mindedly. Everyone deserves second chances. Everyone wants to change for the better. Be it in school, in society, in personal life.

Netball... something raw and fresh for me. It's the peak where we shared all the achievements and proud moments together, then, we had the downs where we cried as a team (yet again, i didn't cry when everyone else did... tsktsk) It's all over now. Tried it, gained from it, moved on. All the memories will be kept, no worries. How much we went through all together, how much each of us perservered throughout, pushing ourselves to the limits each time. Zest!


Personal life... every year, we grow up again, i suppose my pace of growing up is: 1 year in reality = 3 years in mentality. It started at that rate since last year. However, i must stress that no matter how mature i am, or i may appear to be, there are certain areas in life that i will never experience as a fourteen-year-old. Time may be the key factor, however, i'm still enjoying my youth, and it's a good sign.
Oh well, perhaps i've been exposed to the outside world too soon. The reins are off me, in a way, it's very good for the upbringing of one. Yet again, it's the stress that we have to prove that this way of upbringing is right. So many reckon it's still not time for such a young girl to be let go so soon, as much as i beg to differ because there are still too much factors in it, it's really up to individual to decide our paths. I've laid a very clear path for myself, something i'm proud of. Knowing what we want, striving to achieve, the satisfaction, sense of achievement, a feeling ever so lasting and warm.

Skating...has been a part of me for a year now. It's all those happy moments.. quiet moments, times i push myself so hard to do something... and then the end result is very heartwarming. How much i've learnt through skating... i definitely owe it to all the friendly skaters we have in this skating community. Looking forward to newer experiences on skates =D


No one has ever opened up my heart so much before... 2006 has been very memorable... i've had so many first experiences, moments that i will never forget in my life. Etched in my heart... in my mind(it'll be too exaggerating to go on with 'in my soul' HA!) I'm looking forward to the future, what we will see together, what we will go through together as well. It will be a challenge for each of us individually. How we see each problem faced, how we cope with it. The test of time, the test of the power of love. =)

The end of the year zoomed past so fast, i've not had the chance to sit down and take in the moments. Enjoying every bit of the holiday. Been a long time since i posted a decent post. Some parts of the year, 让我又爱又恨, another year has passed yet again. This blog is a year old. A year of memories kept in it... Happy 1st year anniversary to the memory stored of jacjac's.

Wishing everyone a good year ahead, keep your heads up! Lady luck will be with us~

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Special Footage

Disclaimer: These pictures shown have not been edited in any way, except that the contrast has been brightened so it is not as dark as to the actual ones, and much more visible to see the orbs.






These are some of the appearance of orbs as seen in the pictures. I can assure that they are not dust particles or condensation of mist/humidity.

As taken from http://theshadowlands.net/ghost/orbs.htm

What are these balls of transparent light we find in photos taken in allegedly haunted places? I won't tell you I know the answer to this question. No one has the true answer to this question yet, but that's part of the job of researchers and investigator.

One of the leading theories concerning what orbs are and the one that I lean towards the most is that they are not the spirit at all. The orb is the energy being transferred from a source (i.e. powerlines, heat energy, batteries, people, etc) to the spirit so they can manifest. This may not even be a conscious thing the spirit is doing, just a natural way they get their energy. This would explain why the orbs are round balls. According to the laws of Physics energy being transferring like that would assume is natural shape of a sphere. This theory can also be tied into the EMF readings we get during spirit activity.

I always approach things with a bit of skepticism, so when I saw all these websites start showing off these photos as ghosts, I was just as weary as most of you. I just had to try it for myself. I took a 35mm camera that I had used regularly for 6 years in all types of lighting and weather and had never gotten an orb or other unexplainable photo before and went out with a few seasoned field investigators on a cemetery investigation. One of the investigators was psychic and she pointed out a few areas we should take photos, so I did. I also had ghost footsteps walkup behind me twice and I turned around quickly and took photos of the empty air. When I got my photos developed, I had these orbs and fog in those photos that I was told to take, as well as the footstep ones. All my other photos were normal. Coincidence?

Since we do not know what orbs truly are, just that they seem to be found mainly in areas where there is ghost activity, I will tell you what they are not. On a normal investigation there are about 10 people using 10 different cameras, 35mm and digital, and many speeds and brands of film. They all get their film developed at separate places. Let's say only half of these investigators get some orb photos. Are these water spots or dirt on the lens? That would mean that 5 people all had similar dirt on their lens and all 5 did not clean their lens either. Are these orbs film processing errors? Well the 35mm cameras all had their film developed in different locations and used different film so that is very unlikely. The digital cameras can't have film-processing errors. I am aware that some people feel that the orbs on a digital camera are an error in the digital processing of the image. When that error does occur in digital photos, the objects tend to be square in nature, not round and they cannot be semi-transparent, the pixel behind would have to be corrupted also. I will not even address the precipitation theory, no legitimate researchers takes photos in any form of precipitation. What about dust and dirt being stirred up? Can that be the cause of the orbs? If that were the case, I would think that there would not be normal photos in a sequence of photos from the same camera and location. All of the shots in a sequence should have the dust or dirt in it. We find that most orb photos do not appear in consecutive photos. All photographers present should get orbs if it is dust being stirred up as well.

These are just a few things for the skeptics to think of when they are condemning an orb photo as a fake or fraud and some things for investigators to consider when checking their photos for positives.





It's a very scary, chilly experience. I want to strongly advice any reader out there who thinks of attempting to carry out such activities to give thoughts about it. Anything might happen in there that you guys will regret your entire life. This spiritual world is not meant for us to be trifling with.

Monday, December 25, 2006

I don't know how i can ever describe that feeling i've never felt before. Confused, tired, lost... as if i'm going insane anytime. Suffocating under the huge pressure in my mind and too tired physically to even think about anything else except to get home safe and warm... out of the dark, cold and "void" place.

It pricks my conscience somehow that i actually endangered myself 'playing' with the netherworld just for the fun and curiosity of it. Too many things happened all in a moment, i'm still so so lost...
The feeling of being in a cemetry dead in the middle of the night is indescribable. Some stuffs are not meant to be played and fooled around with......

Saturday, December 23, 2006

I keep preaching but i don't do what i preach. Not exactly preaching... just speaking my views. Then.... it suddenly hit me... why am i not enjoying the little little fine things in life. I've been expecting more and more and more, no wonder i'm always disappointed. My mind suddenly opened up... i saw the light in my dark tunnel. =)

Friday, December 22, 2006

I need a good inspiring novel to bury myself in... *hint hint*

Mua HA HA HA~

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

In another 12 more days would be year 2007! Time to start planning and making resolutions... keke..

I'm half excited and yet half dreading to go back to school. Miss the people, miss the environment... but everything would not be the same again... Optimistic yet pessimistic... ha!~

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Sometimes... i can't help but stop in all my flurry, blurry, wheezing fast-paced world.
Am i growing up too fast?

Hmmmm...
Are human beings naturally borned to be selfish? Or are we living in a world where only our own needs come first. We put ourselves before others. I can say that so far in my entire life, i really haven't seen someone who could ALWAYS put others before himself. It's only a matter of how selfish the person is, i.e. the extent of a tolerable standard or to the extreme where it irks people. Some little actions can tell how selfish the person is.

Selfish-ness doesn't come with age at all. However young/old a person may be, it's their character. I've seen kids so young that's so self-sacrificing and giving to others, and yet, i've also seen adults who portray such selfish actions. Is it possible to change someone? I personally think it's very very hard. It's sorta inbuilt in our 'natural human instincts' to care for ourselves before sparing a thought for others. Or perhaps, somewhere in this beautiful place, the influence and culture may change someone's entire perspective and way of living and treating others and oneself.

I always have such big dreams of seeing a more beautiful and peaceful world... yet... it's a highly impossible one. Someday, somehow, somewhere, we might all realise that it's possible... Not.

Is it even possible?


Actually, yes...it is possible. We just have to look at everyone's good points and forgive their flaws, everyone will always be shining, and the world will be so much more beautiful then.
Irony...

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Sunday, December 10, 2006

After an x-ray and losing a lot of cells because of the radiation, my injured spine looks like this.

The normal one is supposedly like that in the picture. At the very last portion where the thin bone is, that's where i've fractured it. The bone is bent inwards. Nothing serious bout' that last bone though, so no worries.
Just, the pain is a little too traumatising when i sit for long periods. And the bone will never be normal again. Just the thought of how it is... really creeps me out.
The doc says usually such injuries take a couple of weeks to months for the pain to subside.
Yay~


Yes people, i still can skate, please jio me go skate hor! =P

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

I've always wanted to blog about puppy loves and break ups. I suppose quite a lot will start hating me for being so harsh and cruel. Ha!

I bet almost none of you haven't come across a teen weeping/mulling over a break up as if it's the end of the world. As far as i can remember, everything is easy come easy go for me. My god, how old only? It's not like once you're hitched, that other half will be destined for you for your entire life. And when you lose it along the way, oh yay your world 'comes falling/crashing left right centre'.

What century is this already? Flings are sooo bloody common that couples get married so soon, and divorce rates are increasing like crazy. Who stays with that other half for eternity. You think like those Cinderella stories where everyone lives happily ever after.

Okay, maybe i'm being a little too harsh. It's alright to mull over it for a week IF apparantly the relationship didn't work out because of the indifferences. But what the hell! That bf/gf isn't worth mulling over if he/she ditched you(or maybe cos' it was your fault in the first place). Move on, move along~

Some of the more serious cases where people cut themselves in bouts of depression because of break ups. I don't understand why people are hurting themselves because of someone (who most probably already hitched another bf/gf right after that relationship), and there you are still stuck down there, wallowing in self-pity.
Awww, no one's gonna pity you for heaven's sake.

Stand up for yourself and be strong. Love who you are. You are not living for anyone, you are living for yourself.

Enjoy every moment because 'life is like a shithole, you just gotta find that handle to flush it'.

Yeah, i love shit and shitholes, because i love my life.

Ha Ha Ha....



Reminds me of Move Along by The All-American Rejects.

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
When everything is wrong we move along..move alongggg~

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Been months since i hit the swimming pool. Once again, back to 40 laps. This time's much slower because of my injured tailbone. Gah... I saw a group of kiddies say lower Primary ones taking their swimming lessons. Reminds me back in 1998-2000? Roughly there when i was still taking my lessons. Just, their instructor was so strict and fierce. My gosh... tough on those kids. Aye, my instructor was strict too... was so afraid last time. Keke...
Why why why... my stupid tailbone still hurts. So irritating when i try to stand from a sitting position. =( If only it heals right away... resume skating.. resume normal activities. Heh..



You Are 24 Years Old



Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.



13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.



20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.



30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!



40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.



Oh yay? I just got another year older.



Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"



You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love.

You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart.



Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing (with no mentions of v-day!)



Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic



What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays



Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get



This is what bored people do... hai... tsktsk.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Good news - My tailbone is getting soooo much better over the past 2 days. Thanks to Zheng Gu Shui (some chinese medication). Hopefully i'm able to skate tomorrow. No, i mean, i will skate tomorrow already! Keke...

Bad news - I haven't been eating yummylicious food for the entire week. Neither have i stepped out of my house. How exciting it is to stay home 24/7 facing the computer.

Oh yeah, staying home isn't all that bad either. I've picked up some skills for computing, learnt new stuffs about the computer and its hardwares. Not that bad either.
Now, i'm itching to learn Photoshop, get PS CS2, get a SLR cam (not so soon anyway), get an acoustic guitar(heh...christmas is comingggg).
I know this is crazy, but i'm also itching to get my new books for sec 3. Hehehee.... Geek. I don't mind, i look like one anyway. Wahahaha... =p

Hmmm, i'm half excited to go back to school to meet crazy people again, yet half reluctant cos' i haven't skated enough. If only we can balance all these 2 so perfectly. BUT, nahhhhh, something always has to come first. Pirorities.

Anyway, i don't see what's so bad about being philosophical. That means wisdom, enlightenment, equanimity and so many other good traits. I don't see what age has got to do with someone's mentality. God knows, some adults in their 20s i see out there are behaving like tweens. Maturity definitely doesn't come with age. It's how we've been brought up, what we've been taught, what we've chose to learn, what we choose to hear and listen(notice the difference between hearing something and listening to something), how we react to what that have been taught. Do we accept everything we see at face value? Or do we actually give thoughts to it as to why, how or what.
If someone has a problem with that, not that i will change myself or anything; because i will just continue as what i deem fit. =) As long as i'm not hurting anyone along the process, and just voicing out my thoughts, it's the readers' choice to accept it at face value or correct me along the way, because i know i may not be entirely correct in some of my speculations or personal opinions.

Do drop me a comment if you strongly feel you have something to tell me, be it positive or negative.