The Endless Journey

I remember back at the age of 5, i had a crush on this cute boy in my class. Wonders how hormones started raging at 5. He was my first crush and it so happened that he liked me as well. But, too bad, he was more shy than i was. Gosh. I even remembered how my best friends then, used to make us sit together, eat together, do everything together on purpose. That moment, i was thinking, we will definitely grow up together and marry in our later lives. Ha ha ha.

At 6, best time of my life. I was the teacher's pet. I was so well liked by everyone. I remembered we had to queue after school according to the different school buses we were going on. Everyone made space for me and even told me to be the first in line so that i can get up the bus first. At 6, that definitely was a great honour.

Then at primary 1, the competitive level increased drastically. Being in a SAP school, i guess they had high expectations of the pupils to perform. I only remembered i was the very few ones who did not cry on the first day of school. Did not have my parents to bring me right to school (i was taking the school bus back then). And usually the first day, parents would fuss over the kids. My first day of school, woke up extremely early, anxiously waiting to go school. Eager girl i was. I thought at Primary 1, i'm finally a 'grown-up'. I thought i had very matured thoughts back then. But gosh, no. I was wrong. I was just like any other playful, naive, little primary 1 kids out anywhere.

Years flew by, i got 'promoted' to the upper primary. Felt more authorative because juniors were under our control. Muahaha. Kidding. I wasn't evil. Neither am i now. But... there were always exceptions. Heh Heh heh. I was the culprit of many bullying cases on the school bus. Oops.

I remembered at P4, heck knows, what i was reading that time. All about those kiddy puppy love English books. Fantasised that my future boyfriend must be an american. Thought americans were super hot. I didn't know the term of SPGs that time yet though. Let me side-track a little. At P4, i had numerous crush on several guys. And those many other guys had crushes on me as well. Primary school kids... whatcha expect. We sabo-ed our friends, told on others about the crushes. And we were so excited to gossip about the crushes. Jeeeez. Then we even talked about how it was like to hold hands/kiss and sorts like that. Hormones raging. Yeah, must be.

But now that i've grown up, what older people back then always say that looks aren't important is so true. I didn't understand when i was younger. I mean, how the hell looks doesn't matter? I want a chao hot chao shuai chao xing gan boyfriend when i was fantasising last time. Ha ha ha. And look at myself now, as we grow older, we tend to not look at the surface of things anymore. We think and go deeper a level.

P5, 6 i thought i was very matured again. (I always think so highly of myself)
But as i grow older, i realised that i was sad to say... still childish.

So, till date of 2007, i made a great realisation that no matter how mature i think myself to be at this time, i definitely am not as matured as i think myself to be. As much as that as well, i have a very open mind to learning more and together, enjoy the process of growing up with everyone around me.