I can be dead
I can laugh my guts out
I can eat a million meals
I can bathe a million times
I can leave the air conditioner on for days
I can feel overwhelming fatigue
I can watch endless movies
I can be someone's lover
I can study endlessly
I can sleep forever
I can be anxious
But why do I feel so
numb
all at the same time?
(If milk could make one drunk, I'd be so wasted by now) Slurps.
Alone time FTW. Loneliness doesn't kill. It gave me time to stop, and think, amidst the crowds that pass me by. They don't mean a thing, at all.
I need to feel the edge right now. What kind of experience would death give? The feeling of losing everything in the face of death, and learning the essence of life. I need that right now because I'm so drowned in the daily pursuits.
I'm not suicidal, I just need to wake up from this dream.
3. more. bloody. months.
Even if it takes me bloodied and ripped, I will walk out of the darkness, gasping for the light and air at the end.
1 comment:
I can sort of tell you. Sorta. But it's a little impossible to do that, especially through the computer screen.
Normally I'd tell people not to wait for that kind of experience to appreciate life, but there's no denying that death can do things nothing else can. I wouldn't say I want for what happened to me to happen again, but it's an incredible experience, and it can be almost exhilarating.
You'll walk out of your darkness. Have faith in yourself. Or, okay, if you're a skeptic of faith, believe in yourself. It's a fact that you're strong enough, and everybody knows it.
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