Tuesday, March 26, 2013

未来的幸福 还在追逐


11 days since i cried a little, and my heart died a little. I feel so sad I don't know how to express it. Not even in tears.
I will just try.
The painful tightening of the chest. The aching of the heart. The tightening of muscles. The gritting of teeth. The nightmares. The forced nonchalance. The stress. The confusion. A crisis where I am my only buoy. But I flounder because the buoy is anchored to nowhere. Just floating. And floating. And swallowing water down my nose. I never felt so painful. So painful that I can't even flinch because it doesn't occur in a localised area. It's everywhere that I can't hide from. It's from within. It's growing. And it hurts so much.
Every time I tell myself to sleep it off.
And shove the pain under the carpet.
The irony is that the pain is within, and there's no carpet to shove it under. It's within.

Today I told myself to take a lead fall. And I forced myself to release from the last handhold. I fell. At that moment, my heart raced, just right after the fall. And that's it. I got over it. In a moment. I faced my fear.
Today I told myself to face my fear of hurt. And I forced myself to embrace the hurt. Let it wash all over me. Through and through. My heart stopped. And I never got over it stopping. It tightens in that very moment and just stops.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Just Bent, Not Broken

Even the most private of thoughts cannot be expressed on this platform for fear of myself catching up to these thoughts and translating them into reality.

I keep thinking positivity baby, but I know when my heart stops trying, and I know it's time to stop trying. Afterall, the heart speaks louder than any logical reasoning.
Being busy keeps the mind occupied with not dwelling on things. And to keep pushing forward.

Going against the wind, even it messes my hair; going against the current, even if it means swimming twice as hard just to go with the flow.

Being busy. With purpose.
I'm just bent, not broken.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Mind. Heart. Body. Soul.

The phone rang. 

She was sobbing badly on the other end of the line.

“I’m going over,” I told her and hung up before she could protest.

1am. It was going to be a long night ahead..

She was still crying when she opened the door. She looked so broken, so vulnerable. I didn’t have to know what was wrong, I just held her in my arms. She cried even more.

“He broke up with me,” she finally said.

I just kept quiet as she let it all out.. questions, tears, anger, hurt.

“Why does love have to hurt so much?”

“No, love.. doesn’t hurt,” I said gently. 

“So says the guy who’s been single forever? What would you know about love,” she jabbed. 

“So says the guy who’s been your friend though Mr now-ex-#4,” I grinned. “Love doesn’t hurt you.. it’s the person that doesn’t know how to love or appreciate love that hurts you. But love never hurts,”.

“You won’t understand, Matt,” she sighed, “you’ve never been in love…”

“That’s not entirely true, you know..”

“Wait what- so who’s this girl I’ve never heard abou-“

“What did you love about #4 anyway?” I interjected. 

“I don’t know… he is just perfect. And I love him so much,”

“But you don’t know what it is that you love about him?”

“It’s just.. the feeling when I’m with him. It always felt right with him. He made me feel loved and I loved him too,”

“That’s it? Just a feeling?”

“Well.. yea. What were you expecting me to say?”

“.. something more specific, maybe? I mean, if you thought he’s so ‘perfect’, why’d he still chea- erm, why’d he leave you?”

“Because I’m just not good enough for him? I don’t know..” she paused. “What is love to you then…”

“Hmm.. to me, being together or in love with someone should be more that just a feeling.. it should also be about mutual understanding, acceptance, respect, commitment and trust.”

“That’s what all couples would hope and want their relationship to be like, Matt. But expectations and reality don’t always go together..”

“Or maybe.. someone’s just not trying?”

“Well if you think love is so simple.. why haven’t you been with anyone all these years?”

“I never said love was simple.. but I guess the reason why I’ve never been with anyone yet is because.. I already know exactly what I want,”

“You have.. a checklist?”

“Sorta. It’s not the typical kinda ‘I’d like a girl with long hair, nice smile, etc’ superficial checklist though,”

“Oh. What kind of list is it then?”

“It’s like.. a concept of love. Of what it is about a girl that will make me fall completely in love with her. A concept that has more than three specific reasons that would answer any question as to why I love her.”

“You have a concept of love?” she laughed. “Love isn’t a theory, Matt.. you can’t just classify love by a concept or definition, you simply feel it with your heart..”

“But you see.. the reason why I think there are so many broken hearts, is because people merely jump into a relationship when their heart feels a certain something towards someone. But I don’t think that’s love, that’s merely an infatuation. Personally, I believe there are more than three reasons and aspects that actually determines whether we really are truly in love beyond the superficial ‘I don’t know why I love him/her.. I just do’ reason,”

“That makes sense. So what exactly is this.. ‘concept’ of yours about?” she asked, genuine curiosity replacing her initial skepticism.

“I call it the 4+1 theory. The aspects that will determine if it’s true love or just a fickle infatuation. It’s based on this idea that whenever we like someone, if we really go deeper into what is it that draws us to him or her, we’d be able to find that one specific reason. That’s not love though. That’s merely an attraction or infatuation. But when more than three of the aspects from this theory are present, you’ll be pretty sure that it’s more than just a feeling. For me personally, this determines if I’ll ever fall in love with a girl…”

Mind. Heart. Body. Soul.

Mind
The mind aspect, to put it simply, is her intellect. But I don’t mean the academic smarts.. it’s the way she thinks, processes and analyzes things way beyond a shallow self centeredness. It’s the way she puts across her thoughts, not for winning an argument’s sake, but to really try to understand or even sensibly debate opposing views that might leave anyone reflecting on her words or challenge me to think differently. It’s the way she carries herself off with an aura of sophistication and enigmatic charm and no matter how much I might think I already know her or have her figured out, she’ll still surprise me with something unexpected. Good surprise. I like intellect. Personally, it takes a little more to intrigue me and stimulate my senses. If I can connect with someone and talk endlessly about the concept of nothing, then, only then, will we be able to talk about everything else.. and I think that’s incredibly alluring,”

“Ooh.. so my best friend’s sapiosexual too,” she teased. “But what about her likes and dislikes or like her personality.. does that go under the mind aspect too?”

Heart
“Well, that’s where the heart aspect comes in. The heart represents who she is by what she values or cares about. The things she likes, the things she dislikes. What really matters to her, as well as her insecurities and fears..”

She bit her lower lip - thinking. “But what if him knowing about my past and all my insecurities scares him or drives him away? Or what if he ever uses all of these against me if someday things go bad between us?”

“Erm.. you do realize that it doesn’t really matter now because whether or not he ever knew, he already chose to leave you right? But.. if he still or ever tries to hurt you in any way, then he is a fucking bastard and I will punch his face,”. I really meant it.

“I don’t think he even cares about me anymore,” she sighed, “maybe he never really did.. we were so.. different. I don’t know why I never actually realize it before,”

“Maybe because then, you were too ‘blinded by love’ to see, or you chose to conveniently ignore the differences. Honestly though, I think it’s critical for two people to understand each other’s heart and learn to accommodate each other’s differences rather than simply turning a blind eye or deaf ear ‘because I love him and that’s all that matters’. Because if two people are too different in the way they think, behave or live.. I reckon it will become a huge problem when the infatuation bubble bursts.”

“I don’t really understand..” she said.

“Let me just ask you this.. does he know how passionate you are towards the arts and music?"

“Well, no.. not really. He’s more the sports kind of guy and doesn’t like theatre and stuff so I didn’t want him to get bored if I talked to him about things he isn’t interested in..”

“Then i’m guessing he probably also doesn’t care or know the little things about you. Like how you’re afraid of the dark and why you’re actually scared of darkness.. how family and relationships are really important to you.. that ice cream is your happy pill. You know, I’m even going to bet that he doesn’t know you go to bed every night, clutching your phone just hoping and waiting for him to text you goodnight..”

She started to tear again, but I continued..

“You see, it’s not a matter of whether it bores him or not.. it’s a matter of whether he bothers or not. I mean, if he doesn’t even know these things about you, then he really doesn’t know you at all. How then can he say he loves you?”

“But I really loved him,” she murmured softly to herself .

“I know you did. I know you still do and it’s hurting you like shit. But you need to know that for any kind of relationship to work.. two people need to give and take. Sadly, with him, it seems like you’re the one who was always giving. If he actually really loved you back as much, he’d make a greater effort to close the gap and bridge the differences between you two. He’d want to hear what you have to say, he would actually consider your opinions, your needs and your feelings. He’ll not just tell you or text you that he loves you.. he’ll show it by the things he will do or be willing to do no matter how inconvenient or silly it might be, just because.. he knows it’ll make you happier or better. To me, when it comes to a relationship, the heart aspect isn’t just a feeling or who you/he or she is anymore. It becomes two hearts beating as one. Two people wanting to understand each other.. sharing the good, the bad and possibly a future together; actually bothering and supporting each other’s feelings, values, dreams, thoughts, emotions,”

She stayed silent for a long while before she looked up, holding my gaze.. there was this unspoken tension building before she finally spoke again.

“But.. what if something that’s important to me, is not something the guy might feel same way about?"

“Then I’ll try-” I caught myself. “I mean, if I were him. I’d try. I’d make the effort.. because it’s important to you and you’re important to me,”

She remained silent again. She wasn’t crying anymore but this time, the prolonged silence was starting to grow even more deafening. 

“Matt,” she finally spoke - softly, “do you believe in love at first sight?”

“No.” I said flatly. 

“Oh..” she sighed. “You know what you said about mind and heart.. it’s actually starting to sink in and I’m beginning to realize that maybe these two aspects weren’t exactly a big part of my relationship with him,”

“So what made you fall in love with him then?”

“Well.. don’t laugh, but I’ve always thought that with him, it was love at first sight. I mean, there was just this spark between us from the very first time we met,”

“Cos he was hot?” I scoffed.

“No.. don’t be an idiot,” she tried to hide her smile but failed. I rolled my eyes. “Okay fine, yea maybe that. But it wasn’t the only reason!”

I raised an eyebrow.

“He was really nice too! And he was always sweet to me,“ she began her defense case. “He always made me feel happy, secure and loved without even having to try, you know?” I just continued staring at her waiting for her to go on. “Oh never mind, you’d never understand..”

“Actually.. I do. And I think I now understand what it was that made you fall in love with him.

Body
The body aspect.

The body aspect is about physical attraction, intimacy and presence.

I don’t believe in love at first sight. I don’t believe you can just “instantly know” you’re in love or that someone’s THE one just by “first sight”. No offense, but I think the whole love at first sight concept is bullshit that only exists in movies and fairy tales. In reality, it isn’t love. That very first attraction.. is probably lust. Lust at first sight”.

“What nonsense! It’s not like I was lusting over him from the very first time I laid eyes on him! Maybe it’s the case for guys.. I mean, sex is always on a guy’s mind whenever he meets a girl right? But it’s different for girls, Matt..” she protested.

“Okay. You know what.. since you brought up the age-old guys and sex debate, I’ll tell you this secret to clarify something about guys for the first and last time.. probably 99% of guys are naturally sexual. If you ever meet any guy who tells you he isn’t sexual at all, it’s not that he’s gay – no, gays are even more horny .. he’s likely to be a liar and you should be more wary of him. BUT! Here’s the thing.. even though guys are sexual by nature, it isn’t always the only or most important thing to a guy,”

“Really?” now she raised her eyebrow with that annoying smirk on her face.

“Oh come on, you girls know how it is, plus you aren’t exactly saint-like innocent either.. sometimes you see a hot guy and you start fantasizing or making statements like ‘omg have my babies’..”

“That…” she started blushing.

“That.. is exactly my point. It’s the same with guys. We might talk and think about sex a lot more openly than girls but it isn’t always the only thing on our mind. When I said it’s lust at first sight.. I didn’t literally mean you want the guy naked and in bed. What I meant is the momentary attraction or desire– he might be hot, he might be charming, he might have smiled at you that made you feel a certain way.. but that’s not love. That’s really just a superficial physical attraction. Saying “I’m in love” right there and then just completely takes the special meaning out of the word ‘love’. If you ask me, I personally think the process of loving or falling in love with someone involves discovering the person and then perhaps developing feelings. It could happen quickly or over a longer period of time, but not at first sight,”

“Hmm.. that does make sense,” she paused and then her lips curled up forming that annoying smirk again. “Oh wow, this is the first time you and I are talking about sex huh..”.

“You never asked..”

“Tell me then.. what is sex to you?”

“Sex.. to me, is merely a physical act. I am not part of the whole “sex is sacred/taboo” camp but then, I don’t take sides with the whole bed hopping culture either,”

“I can’t believe you just said that sex is merely a physical act..” she began in a disappointed tone.

“But sex really is just a physical act if it’s without emotions or feelings. And that is why I distinguish between sex and making love, the same way I clearly differentiate ‘loving’ and ‘being in love’ with someone,” 

“Oh.” this time, she smiled. She understood. 

“Don’t get me wrong.. I think physical intimacy is very important in a relationship but for me, the one physical aspect that matters the most.. is the physical presence. That, is also what I reckon made you fall in love with him.

“Okay this, I really want to know…” she said. 

“The physical presence is simply being there. You want him to be with you. You want to be there for him. Because just being there with or for each other makes your day, or you as a person, a little better. You may act or behave a little different when you’re with him, but in a good way – in a way that you actually feel completely comfortable, safe and you. Perhaps even without you knowing, you smile more and laugh harder. You feel real, genuine joy. And even on days when the smile can’t happen, you know you don’t have to pretend to be okay or be self conscious in front of him; because its perfectly okay to be the way you are and feel when you’re with him. He cares about you and you feel loved when you’re with him. Sometimes, there are no need for words or explanations.. just his presence, him being there for you, holding you.. makes you feel better or believe that it’s going to be okay again. Because you’re not just holding on to someone for attention or sympathy.. you actually feel and believe that you’re holding on to a part of or the rest of your life..”

Which leads to the fourth aspect – soul.

Soul
The soul aspect to me, is the deepest form and the final affirmation that should answer any remaining doubt or questions as to whether we’ve truly fallen in love with a person.

It’s when you start noticing but still appreciate all the other little things, even the flaws - especially the flaws. It’s when you truly know a person stripped down of all their walls, exposed to their soul and yet still accept and love him or her. It’s a level of understanding and acceptance that goes beyond the “honeymoon everything is perfect” period. 

It’s when you finally realize this one person is someone you can always and want to tell everything to, and you want to ask and know everything of him or her as well. It’s when you actually want to share your life and trust your secrets with this person; and you can. This someone is the first person you think of when you’re happy, sad or when something significant happens. This same person is someone you can call at 1am in the morning and they’d drop everything to make time for you, staying by you till the sun rises or you’re better again - as you would for him or her as well. This person cares and will listen. Will really listen, giving you their undivided attention and genuine love; not necessarily every time but any time you need him or her. This one person makes your problem their problem and they go through it together with you just so you don’t have to go through the pain and tears alone,”

It was at this moment, for the very first time, she looked at me in a different way but said nothing.

“You see, the soul aspect..” I continued, “is when you start to see and want to share the rest of your life with this one other. And not in a clingy “I can’t live without you” way, but in a way that I can still live my life without you as I have before I met you, but now that you’ve come to exist in my life, I see the possibility of a life with you and now I actually want to make decisions and live a life, continuing to create more moments and memories together with you”.

“Well.. so.. have you met this one person yet? I mean, I’m sure it’s almost impossible to find that ‘perfect’ girl who fulfills all of your four aspects of love right?” she mumbled. I could barely hear her. She wasn’t even looking at me anymore.

“No, it is not impossible and I don’t think its asking for too much. You see the thing about these four aspects is, we often and will find one or two aspects in many different people. And that alone may be enough to make us attracted to them or develop a crush on them. But really, that is not love at all. If we like a person because “he’s cute” or “the way she thinks”, that’s just us liking the body and/or mind aspect of a person. The reality is, we are always going to meet many people who possess these different aspects of mind, heart, body or soul. But on a rare occasion when you do meet someone who possess all these four aspects.. you’ll almost definitely know that he or she is not one of many but may just be the one. So personally, I won’t settle for anything less unless she possess more than three qualities. You know people write the symbol of love as < 3 (less than three), I actually think love should be more than three.. I define it as 4+1. “

“So what’s plus one?” she asked, still not looking at me.

“Plus one…” I trailed off – unconsciously. 

“Matt?” she placed her hand on top of mine, finally looking me in eye again.

“Plus one.. is something only the one who's meant to be will ever know and hold the answer to”.


- Matthew Zachary Liu

Are you truly in love with and loving that someone?

Acts of Service

It is the only way I know to express love.

If I want to serve you in the best possible manner, it's my way of telling you that I love you too dearly and tenderly.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Be Water

Don't get set into one form, adapt it and build your own, and let it grow, be like water.

Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like water.

Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup; You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle; You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot.

Now water can flow or it can crash.

Be water, my friend.

- Bruce Lee

Thursday, March 07, 2013

School of Thoughts

The Fisherman and the Businessman  
There was once a businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Brazilian village. As he sat, he saw a Brazilian fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore having caught quite a few big fish. 

The businessman was impressed and asked the fisherman, “How long does it take you to catch so many fish?” The fisherman replied, “Oh, just a short while.”
“Then why don’t you stay longer at sea and catch even more?” The businessman was astonished.

“This is enough to feed my whole family,” the fisherman said.

The businessman then asked, “So, what do you do for the rest of the day?” 

The fisherman replied, “Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fish, then go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I join my buddies in the village for a drink — we play guitar, sing and dance throughout the night.” 

The businessman offered a suggestion to the fisherman. “I am a PhD in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you should spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fish as possible. When you have saved enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fish. Soon you will be able to afford to buy more boats, set up your own company, your own production plant for canned food and distribution network. By then, you will have moved out of this village and to Sao Paulo, where you can set up HQ to manage your other branches.” 

The fisherman continues, “And after that?” 

The businessman laughs heartily, “After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, and you will be rich.” 

The fisherman asks, “And after that?” 

The businessman says, “After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning, catch a few fish, then return home to play with kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!” 

The fisherman was puzzled, “Isn’t that what I am doing now?”

Following the line of thought with this story, I've been questioning myself time after time. The real motivation for doing something. For having kids. For earning money. And for doing what I'm just doing. Then what next? If I keep probing and probing, till I find that I'm stumped with no answer, then I know it's not what my heart truly wants. Unless the answer leads to "because I want to", if not, I should stop what I'm doing, and keep looking. Don't settle.

Aim

Serving as a reminder that this door has always been there, waiting for me to enter.

Students should have completed 4 semesters of study and/or individually gained about 80 modular credits at the point of departure and MUST have at least one remaining semester of study on upon return to NUS without exceeding their maximum candidature.


Going to UPenn or Stanford is like a dream coming true. A dream of various sorts that I've held.

Monday, March 04, 2013

Business Stripped Bare

People: Find good people - set them free
Hire for attitude; train for skill
Seek out people with the right spirit, bubbling just beneath the surface, and get working with them. These people, by their nature and their outlook on life, enjoying working with others.
They're attentive. 
They smile freely.
They're often lively, and fun to be with.
When you love what you do, you're too busy to stand on your dignity. When you're good at what you do, you don't worry so much about your image. So it's a positive sign when people don't take themselves too seriously.

There's another thing about teams: they don't last for ever.
Think of a team as being like the cast in a theatrical play. Actors who work too long together on the same show for too long grow stale.
When the business lets you, shake things up a little.

It's a fact of business life that people come and go. The offer of better prospects or career advancement elsewhere will naturally draw good people away from time to time. But what about the others - the ones who leave in order to do much the same thing, for much the same money, elsewhere? What went wrong?
Throwing money at people isn't the point. When people leave a good company, it's often because they don't feel good themselves. They feel underused, ignored, marginalised. Few people spend every spare hour scouring the jobs page hunting for higher salary.
Most are driven back into the jobs market by frustration.
Their bosses don't listen to them.
It's vital that we are allowed to feel good about what we do. After all, we only live once, and most of our time is spent at work.

If people are properly and regularly recognised for their initiative, then the business has to flourish. Why? Because it's their business; an extension of their personality. They have a stake in its success.

A self disciplined employee will have the patience to conduct routine business routinely, the talent to respond exceptionally to exceptional circumstances, and the wisdom to know the difference between the two.

Delivery
Good delivery depends upon many things.
Two of the most important elements are:
1. good communication
2. attention to detail - keep a notebook. Jot down things that need doing.

Every risk is worth taking as long as it's in a good cause, and contributes to a good life.

Delivery is never rocket science. Getting to grips with an unfamiliar infrastructure is simply a question of workload - of mastering detail.
However complex the business is, you should be able to boil it down to a proposition that ordinary people can understand.
Immerse yourself in every detail for months or even weeks, if often enough to get you started.

Keep your bankers informed of your every move. Let them know precisely your intentions.

Delivery is the moment where your good intentions meet the real world.
Delivery is best approached steadily, and with fortitude.

If you're a late entrant to a market, you need to be radically different to win over customers.

If you rip off the consumer, then you will destroy the integrity of the brand.
Let people know exactly what they are paying for - and reward those who stay with us.

When you're first thinking through an idea, it's important not to get bogged down in complexity. Thinking simply and clearly is hard to do. It takes concentration and practice and self-discipline.
It's easy to be hoodwinked by technical-sounding detail, and to parrot it at others, and to feel important in doing so. It's hard to ask the naive question. Nobody wants to look silly.
You can never go far too wrong by thinking like a consumer who's new to the business. If it makes no sense to them, then you're probably just fooling yourself.

Complexity is your enemy. Any fool can make something complicated. It is hard to make something simple.

Keep a cool head. You're in business to deliver change, and if you succeed, the chances that no one will get hurt are virtually zero.
This is the rough and tumble of business.
Be sportsmanlike, play to win, and stay friends with people wherever possible.
If you do fall out with someone, ring them a year later and take them out to dinner. Befriend your enemies.

Engage your emotions at work.
Your instincts and emotions are there to help you. They are there to make things easier.
Acquire details in your plans by testing against questions that on the face of it are really quite simple - and more to do with emotions than figures.
If you seek to create the best health club in town, will existing gym members go to all the bother of transferring their membership to you? If the answer is 'yes', then give it a go and see if it works.

The most critical factor in any business decision you'll ever have to make? It boils down to this question:
If this all crashes, will it bring the whole house tumbling down like a pack of cards?

One business mantra - protect the downside.

Learning from mistakes & setbacks
You can't protect yourself against the unexpected, so you need to keep your house in as good an order as you can. If disaster strikes, you don't want to find yourself doing twelve things at once and misprioritising them. It's vital that you take control of your internal business risks - the ones who can influence.

An entrepreneur has to make the tough calls. Some say it requires a ruthless streak. Actually, it's counterproductive to be ruthless. You've got the treat people as you would yourself, or better.

Any start-up business should sit down and take a long hard look at its legal agreements.

Look for people with exciting, dynamic CVs, not spotless ones. Don't be pushovers.
Be happy to take chances with people, to move them around, to see how they tick and where they fit in.
Don't pin the blame on people, or marginalise them when things go wrong.
Eventually people will realise that we're in a company that knows how to deal with its problems, and is willing to take chances. Be bold and unafraid.

If you've poured too many hours into a project, and it failed. Move on.
What if you can't move on? What if there is nowhere to move to?
Assuming you're not burning other people's money in their faces, you could always perform the hardest trick in the book of business tricks:
get very small, very specialised and very expensive.
You're taking a large operation and finding ways to scale it down, retarget it and remarket it, all the while adding bucketloads of value to justify the hike in price.

First thing to do when faced with a problem? Get together promptly to look for the answer to a single question "is there a way out?". And then go right to the endgame and ask "what is the ideal way out of this problem for everyone?"
Become 100 percent focused on trying to find that way out.
If it's a major problem, give it 100 percent of your time and energy until it is sorted.
Work night and day to resolve it, and try to delegate everything else that is going on.
If, having done this, you fail to resolve the problem, then at least you know you've done everything in your power you can.
Move on.

Innovation
In business, as in life, you can't afford to be afraid of doing the wrong thing.
Success in business never comes from inaction.
Innovation is what you get when you capitalise on luck, when you get up from behind your desk and go and see where ideas and people will lead you.

Entrepreneurs and leadership

In a small business, you can be both the entrepreneur and the manager while you are getting it going. But you need to know and understanding everything about the business. An emerging entrepreneur should sign every cheque. Examine every invoice. Know where the money is going.
If the business gets big, sign every single cheque that goes out for a month every six months. And suddenly you're asking "what on earth is this for?"
You'll be able to cut out unnecessary expenditure quite dramatically when you do that.

As a small business person, immerse yourself 100 percent in everything and learn about the ins and outs of every department. As it gets bigger, you'll be able to delegate, and when people come to you with problems, they'll be surprised how knowledgeable you are and how much practical advice you can offer. Because you've been there, done that. Also, decide if you're a manager or an entrepreneur. If you're a manager you can stay with that business and help it grow. If you're an entrepreneur, you need to find a manager. Then you should move on, enjoy yourself and then set up your next enterprise.

You must either stay ahead of other people, or stay ahead of yourself, all the time. If you really put your mind to it you are normally going to find a better way.
You have to keep questioning the way people do things.

Many people reading this will be affluent. If you don't feel affluent right now, take a minute and think: the very fact that you could afford to link up to the internet, read this off a screen - the very fact that you are able to read at all - marks you out as one of world history's richest and most privileged people.
There's not that many of us, and we haven't been affluent for very long, and so we're not very good at it yet. Affluence makes us lazy. It makes us complacent. It smothers us in cotton wool. If your job's well paid, who can blame you if you're not willing to take a rik and, say, set up your own company?
The vast majority are very happy with this arrangement, and good for them.
But if you want swashbuckling action in your life, become an entrepreneur and give it a go.

Learn the art of trying to set up your own business.
Which is the same as saying, learn the art of making mistakes and learning lessons.

Because if you want to be an entrepreneur and you don't make a few errors along the way, you certainly aren't going to learn anything or achieve very much.

People have a fear of failure and while this is perfectly reasonable, it's also very odd. Because it's through making mistakes that we learn how to do things.
Now there's a limit you may hit, beyond which you can't learn from your mistakes.
Don't expect a chart-topping album from yourself if you're not a singer, or a recital at Carnegie Hall, or a sequence of sonnets or any of the billion and one other things you are never going to be great at.
But that's not failure.
That's finding out what you're good at.

Failure is not giving things a go in the first place.
People who fail are those who don't have a go and don't make an effort.
Failures can't be bothered.
There are few people who've tried something and fallen who didn't get enormous satisfaction from trying, and there's more to learn from people who have tried and faltered than from the few charmed people for whom success came easy.

Social Responsibility

Good small solutions are like gold dust as it's often possible to scale them up, or replicate them manyfold, so that they may acquire a global influence. Muhammad Yunus's Grameen Bank is a classic example.
Don't let relative scale put you off your goals.
Think realistically and creatively about what you can achieve.

No one is asking you to save the planet.
Just dream up and work on a couple of good ideas.
No one expects you to find a global solution to everything.
Just make a difference where you can.
Local solutions have a value in themselves, and some can be scaled up, so it doesn't matter how modest your budget, you can and will make a difference.

Epilogue
In entrepreneurial business, a conservative mindset will hamstring you, defensiveness will weaken you and a failure to face facts will kill you.
Entrepreneurial business favours the open mind.
It favours people whose optimism drives them to prepare for many possible futures, pretty much purely for the joy of doing so. 
It favours people with a humane and engaged view of the world; people who can imagine themselves into the skin of their customers, their workers and the people who are affected by their operations. 
Business favours people who, when they see a problem or an injustice, try to do something about it.
It favours pragmatists over perfectionists, adventurers over fantasists.
Done well and in the right spirit, business will also bring you success - whatever that is.

When we talk about success, what are we really talking about?

Are we talking about money? 
As a measure of success, money's a crude one at best.
People are always inquisitive about how wealthy other people are.
It's a fascinating subject and one that produces endless reams of copy and discussion.
But the reality is that wealth is like a running stream of water.
During some seasons the flow of money is a torrent and you're inundated with cash.
The next moment, you've put money in to develop a business and your cash flow dries up overnight.

If money's a poor guide to success in life, celebrity is worse.
The media likes to personalise and simplify matters. It's much easier to talk about Steve Jobs at Apple, Bill Gates at Microsoft or Warren Buffet at Berkshire Hathaway, but that doesn't really acknowledge that there's a legion of senior people doing significant jobs and making major decisions every day.

Success for me is whether you have created something that you can be really proud of.

Profits are necessary to invest in the next project - pay the bills, repay investors, reward all the hard work - but that's all.
Nobody should be remembered by how much money they have made in life.
Whether you die with a billion dollars in your bank account or $20 under your pillow is actually not that interesting.
That's not what you've achieved in life.

What matters is whether you've created something special - and whether you've made a real difference to other people's lives.

Entrepreneurs, scientists and artists who died as paupers are often the heroes.
Successful people aren't in possession of secrets only known to themselves.
Don't obsess over people who appear to you to be 'winners', but listen instead to the wisdom of people who've led enriching lives - people, for instance, who've found time for friends and family.

Be generous in your interpretation of what success looks like.

In business, as in life, all that matters is that you do something positive.

Thanks for reading - and enjoy your life. 
You only get one.

- Richard Branson 


Saturday, March 02, 2013

Dreaming of Wars and Friends

They do fall into the same picture at the same time.

Every night I close my eyes, I see friends in my dreams.

The same friends. Doing different things. I wonder how they feel if I told them I dreamt of them.

I remember upon waking up. But I chose to allow my memory to gradually forget them.
Paying no attention to it. But sometimes I wonder about you as much as the you in my dreams.
But I can't give it thought in reality, maybe that's why you're only there, in my dreams.

And about wars, I dreamt of bombing. A huge bomb. Chaos. Frantic. Mess.
A flag. Red background with a yellow star.

I don't know what this means. But I hope it means nothing.