Blood

Remind me again why blood is thicker than water, because I have been forced to believe that it has always not been the case for me.

I can't believe how harsh my uncle can be towards me over a trivial matter like a camping bag. I have admitted it was my fault for keeping it in my possession for quite a while and didn't manage to return to them even though I could over many occasions when we met. My cousin needed it and I lent it to someone who needed it before knowing my cousin wanted it back. It got blown up when my uncle and aunt knew of it and started being all furious and uptight. I don't blame them if they were angry. Yet, seriously, my cousins are all grown up already, yet the parents still have to babysit them in every thing. Even such a simple thing like preparing for camp, my aunt still had to take care of such matters. I know it's not his fault. The parents are the ones who aren't able to let go, they don't see they are hindering their child's growth by doing everything for them. My cousin could just get me directly in wanting the bag back. He told his mom, who called my mom up to scold my mom, which my mom told her to just call me directly to scold me. What? I can't believe how ridiculous this is.

That is besides the point. A whole different matter came into the picture when my uncle began concluding and labelling me as a "too selfish" person. Yet again, the favourite line used against me, "I thought you are a smart girl...", my intellectual capacity has nothing to do with my morals. Why do the parentals always never seem to connect the dots the right way. They make their own links and assumptions and force it down the throats of the younger ones.

I am not one who bear grudges. I forgive, but i can't forget the episode that happened previously at the start of last year.
I've always treated this uncle and aunt as my 2nd set of parents because of the love they showered on me when I was much younger. Being the workaholics my parents were, they didn't have the time to bring my brother and I out to have fun or bond. My uncle and aunt were the ones who stood in for my parents. I will always appreciate this very fact because it has led to the formation of my memorable childhood memories.
What happened last year kind of hardened and toughened me up on the harsh realities of life. My mom, brother and I were in a crisis of having nowhere to stay while we wait for our new house to be done renovating. We had already lived out the tenancy date for the previous house. Being so desperate, the people we turned to were obviously the ones closest to us(or at least we thought so). In the end, the naivety I had as a child instantly evaporated when they rejected us. I had to put up elsewhere, someone who had no blood relations with me. My brother found his refuge at a friend's place and my mom managed to convince her other sister to let my kitty and maid live with her. Our family lived apart for that week. It was surely a tough week; my heart broke again and again at the harshness of reality. It indeed served as a wake up call for me that friends are more reliable in times of need.

This week has been a hellish one. With waves of frustrations coming after one another, I am struggling but still surviving. I'm appalled at the ugliness of life yet what can I do about it? The only way is to grow up and learn through the hard way. It is fueling my desire to do even better, to outshine, outwit and outlast everything -all of this, in the name of being a better person, to make the world a better place to live in.