Telok Kurau

It's been years, not that long, but long enough to go back down the memory lane of the childhood days that were once the happiest times of my life. Weeks back during A levels or slightly before, we drove into Lor J Telok Kurau, the feelings that stirred upon me are beyond words. I couldn't decide if I felt nostalgia or plain sadness. The place somehow looked so much smaller than I had remembered. The art studio across the soccer field, the little lanes into the rows of houses; they all seemed much much smaller. The world's perspective from a child's eyes is hugely different now that I have reached another phase of my life.

Every single activity I once did remained vividly fresh in my mind, of playing with fire, of playing catching, of cycling, of skating, of climbing over my own main gate, of playing in the tub of water in the backyard, of playing soccer and getting rammed in the head/legs/hands by the ball roughly kicked by boys, of crying from being chased out from a bro's friend's place. It's endless. Those were my formative years, and I remember walking down the long stretch of road, taking in everything, storing it in my memory, making sure that I would remember this place forever, of how much I loved the area when I was so little.

Then I would get excited playing at the park, getting surprised and awe-struck by Adrian Pang and his kids playing as well. Swinging the highest possible swing till the chains rattle, screaming and yelling that it felt sooo good. Walking down the canal imagining huge crocodiles swimming in it, and fearing for dear life if I ever fell in while skating because of the slopes linking from all the Lorong whatever to the park connector.

I could go on describing all the seemingly mundane activities that were once the highlights of my childhood life. But a rude jerk stops me, because I know it's time to move on. I love the serenity of the place. It offers peace and quiet beyond any other areas that I have shifted to.

And now I am back on the hunt for properties again with resale flats having COVs skyrocketing. I wish... I really wish. I guess I can only let out a simple sigh, that I'll have to wait, when the next opportunity arrives. It's my dream to buy back the same property that had been my parents' first landed property. And I will work hard. But at what expense should I go to? Pursue my interest or pursue the money to achieve my dream?

It's one of those difficult defining moments, again.

I have been so caught up with too many activities, that I'm losing sense of my self, my sanity, my principles and my beliefs. It feels so good to clear up my thoughts that I'm losing interest in frivolous things too soon.

虽然身边有很多人围着，自己却觉得特别孤单特别寂寞.

P.S It's just one of those lonely emo nights, a sleep heals all wounds, superficially or permanently, it matters not.