Thoughts

Though it has seemed like I've barely worked, it's been close to 2 months now.

I've learnt a lot of things about the work environment, about management in terms of people and work and just about generally how co-workers function in the office. It's a totally different world from school and I've matured from this experience. Adults deal with things different, and they deal with it professionally.

In school, friends or school mates could quarrel over insignificant things and such matters do not get solved over time, but it merely becomes gossip and everyone becomes judgemental about the said party involved. That's school.

In work, it's a whole different world. Any unhappiness could be kept within or voiced out to the superior and it gets solved. There's always a solution to the problems and there's no hate involved. Working is very professional. Being angry with work and being angry with the person delegating the work are two very different things.

You can talk to your boss about the work and the unhappiness from not being able to handle the work, but you can't insult your boss for giving you such work because he has the right to.

That's something very valuable that I've learnt. Many a times in school, we do not differentiate the wrongdoings and actions from the people. We accuse the person and scold or say them by insulting their pride. We pick at the person's integrity but we don't pick out what he/she has exactly done wrong.

Being scolded for one's actions is fine, because that can be changed. But when someone's pride has been pricked, it's a different matter altogether. Hatred and grudges will appear because it's after all one's character being taken upon on.

Saying "your work is not up to standard" is vastly different from saying "you are so stupid you can't even do such simple work right".

The former is pinpointing at the standard of the work produced, but the latter is downright insulting the person.

At the end of the day, it still boils down to the ability to differentiate what someone is scolding us about. If we lump it all together that the person is scolding our character and insulting us, then we'll never learn how to do something better.

So the next time someone scolds you, ask yourself, is he/she scolding your wrongdoings or insulting you as a person? Differentiate it and act on it accordingly. It's okay to make mistakes, but it's not okay to get insulted.

Likewise, if you feel unhappy about something/someone, pick your words carefully.

Target the matter.

By targetting the person, he/she will only end up getting defensive and the message you're trying to convey will not reach him/her.

Trust me, it's easy to say and remind yourself about it. But when things involve emotions, anger particularly, words that hurt usually come out first.

So be calm before speaking.

Words that are said in a fit of anger are usually very hurtful and degrading and they do nothing but make matters worse.