Thursday, April 19, 2012

The value of love

The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.
- My top priority hit list of self improvement for the year of 2012.
I've often thought that honesty goes a long way, even if it requires baring the naked truth. But I've also learnt that the whole truth can sometimes hurt, really deeply, and perhaps, concealing part of of truth, or even the whole truth, may prevent the hurt. The hardest part comes in juggling this balance, because of my need of requiring non-ambiguity in every thing. I am still figuring... and it's tough. But I will learn to appreciate this value of silence. 
You may expect love to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Credits: Adrian Tan, "Life and How to Survive It"

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