Recently there's a lot of very encouraging & discouraging talks going round with regards to our MCT results. I have finally made the decision to drop my Physics to H1. I guess I have learnt my lesson in O levels. Hanging on to 2 pure sciences and ended up scoring B3 for both weren't exactly the most strategic move, if not my cut-off point would have led me to VJ. But then again, I have found my home in TJ so I have no regrets. That's not the point though. A levels is a whole new realm and it's not about which JC, it's about what courses that I can get into.
I had a really long talk with my Civics Tutor and she has sort of given me a wake up call to how I am not meeting expectations. All along I've really loved Econs and I've said it many times that the teacher's teaching style doesn't affect my liking for the subject. Today Mrs. Ang told me that she has hinted to me many times of how she knows I have a flair for the subject and that all along she was always expecting me to get A/B for Econs because of my responses in tutorials. I am so disappointed in myself okay. Now it's not about aptitude or not, it's just about putting in the effort to memorise facts to answer essays.
At night during Math tuition, my tutor got a shock because he expected me to perform well. He kept going on about how much more pain he is feeling as compared to me when he saw how I scored ones and zeros all over the pages when I could answer the questions.
There are so many people who know I can do it and have certain expectations of me and yet I am not performing up to standards. I know I've been such a disappointment.
I'm letting myself down the most because I have all the weapons ready for battle but not learning how to use them.
A serious wake up call, and there's no time to waste anymore.
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