Leap of faith

I feel I have to note this particular moment where I can physically feel the difference from a varsity team training and a JC training. Despite enduring sometimes the same amount of cruelty to the mind, I can actually see myself putting on those... muscles. It has to be really amazing because I see myself everyday and I'm not supposed to notice the difference, but I do. And I can feel the significance of the additional muscles I've been gaining because my shirts are really getting a bit tighter it has gone beyond the point of being sexy. It just looks too small. And I don't dare to wear dresses anymore (partly because I look like I'm bursting out of them again) because I look like a man and my friends keep saying my biceps are so visually obvious.

Today as I climbed at Asia, I felt my months of effort into liking bouldering and enjoying it really paid off. Because I have dared to execute many dead points and even almost-full throws while leading. That moment where you hold you breath wondering if you'll get the hold while flying mid-air. That risk you take. I wouldn't have had the guts if not for bouldering so hard with crazy dead points I sometimes do that kill the middle finger joints. And it's not particularly that, that I fancied so much about. It's really more about translating my bouldering courage into leading. I keep reminding myself to be like how I am on boulder routes. And I am so glad I managed to do that today.