Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Tip of the week

I've been a follower of the happiness project for a while now.

This message in the video made by Gretchen is so honest and simple in our every day lives but we fail to do it.
Gen Y has always been dubbed as the "I" generation, it's all about me, myself and I. Self-centredness is something that radiates from Gen Y-ers. Simply put, we are too goddamn obsessed with ourselves to care about what the world has to say. We only listen to what we want to hear.

How about taking time off for a change?

Monday, September 27, 2010

The art of mind-reading

When I was reading the review Ash posted on the tagboard by ieatishootipost, I caught a paragraph of his that he delivered with much truth and a little bit of humour in it.

"Anyway, Amagada's tastebuds can be quite difficult to please. There have been so many occasions when I brought her to one of those "die die must try" places which I have blogged about only to be told that she felt it was quite ordinary. So I was under a lot of pressure to find a nice place to bring her for our anniversary dinner. Of course, she told me that flowers and dinner were not necessary, that we should save money lah, blah, blah blah. But take it from me guys, they might say "no", but often that "no" is often a test of your ability to read their thoughts. So, sometimes "no" means "No dinner huh? Next time you wait long long for your favourite Carrot Cake". But, sometimes "no" really means "no". So the secret of a good marriage is knowing when "no" means "no" and when it means otherwise. And that, unfortunately only comes through experience. So you can imagine how many times I kena from her in the early years of marriage."

I think it's not only applicable to marriage. It works in any relationship/friendship. It's the art of hitting the right nerve without damaging it. These sort of experience comes with age, and that explains my 'fetish', now... my secret is revealed.

My mom keeps going on about how worried she'll be for me because I am the hard to get married sort. The guy is already out there, we just haven't met. Hahahaha.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

You open my heart

It's crazy how long I've not seen Han and how much she has grew since. I'm just awed and amazed at her ability to naturally put a smile on my face. She's a ball of joy and so full of energy. She actually reminds me of myself when I was younger. Super super naughty and mischievous but 讨人喜欢 all at the same time.

The weight of her on my laps and in my arms makes me feel so blessed. The mix of baby and sweat smell is so comforting! All those nights of cuddling Sushi in my arms is nothing compared to holding a real life toddler in my arms. Ruby I totally know what you mean now.

It feels so real.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Bloat

I think my previous life I had been a malnourished little African kid who had been deprived of all the world's food, because in this life.... I. am. eating. like. I. can. fill. 10. bloody. families. for. a. month.

Just fulfilled my wish of eating at Melt and it feels like I vow to never eat buffets again, but I'm sure in time when I'm not as full I'd been craving for all those over-rated food over and over again. Gluttony. Been committing this sin over the past month.

I'm just done with the book Stumbling On Happiness - David Gilbert, a birthday gift by Ash & Zac. A - Z. When it's something I'm so interested in, I gobble it up, in literally 3 days.

This kinda books always make me wonder if I should pursue my interests in this area or the iron rice bowl career path.

Always reliving old memories and how much has changed since. Then again, memories are not always that reliable - something that I'm more aware of after reading Stumbling On Happiness.
For you GH.

自信可改变未来
问谁又能做到

Be more forgiving to yourself. Inner you is screaming for a break too.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Reverse psychology

I finally found an excuse to push aside the emotional dejected state of mind for screwing up my math paper today.

One of the ironies of human psychology is that desperately wanting something can make attaining that thing all the more difficult. When stakes go up, performance often goes down. In one study, subjects practiced sinking a putt and got better as they went along — better, that is, until the experimenter offered them a cash reward for their next shot, at which point their performance took a nosedive.

I wanted the A/B so badly, too badly, that I ended up screwing what I thought was an okay paper. It's like climbing and the competitions versus trainings. Except I don't find myself screwing as much in competitions as I do in exams.

Pick it up like a man and continue working hard for the next math paper. I've let myself wallowed in a daze enough for today, sleeping from 12am to 630am, then continuing the race from 2pm to 7pm. There's something wrong with my voracious appetite for sleep.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Serene

With everyone freaking out and letting their minds run wild on how unprepared they are for Prelims this week, I, on the otherhand, has become surprisingly freer in my daily revision. Just on Sunday, I spent all my time shopping at Singapore Expo's Popular & John Little sale! Today, I slept my life away and watched the tv while reading the newspaper as if it's just another school day.

I get mixed feelings when I read the recent interview with our MM.
Somehow, it gives me the sense that there is so much more to life than whatever I see of it right now. The whole journey that one takes, will come to an end, leaving nothing behind.

轰轰烈烈地告一次离别

I'm inclined to do some meditation. I believe there's some hidden potential to harness the power of calmness and serenity within me. Ha. Ha.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Hotcakes


My second attempt at making fluffy pancakes that are comparable to Mac's Hotcakes Breakfast!
Success! I wished I had a dollop of ice cream to add to it. It would be perfect.

"Tiao Dang"

Call it ignorance or what, but it's still hard for me to stomach the fact that people right in educated Singapore believes in burning talisman and drinking them to obtain whatever wish they had while talking to the "possessed" person who have 'assumed to be the God'.

Culturally I'm respectful, but logically, it's against what I'm educated for.

I wonder how things will change when the next generation of teenagers become adults. Will such cultures be kept alive?

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Private Affairs

It was an impromptu night out for a good dinner, yet again. Mom and I initially wanted to go Melt - The World Cafe for the buffet at Mandarin Oriental but she decided otherwise because we could always eat there again when it doesn't clash with the eve of a public holiday, i.e. cheaper bill + 15% discount for UOB card members.

Who knows, I checked out ieatishootipost and came across this fine dining restaurant located right in the east at my favourite Katong area!

Dining area at Private Affairs

So we decided on a 4-course dinner plus a separate ala carte main course for the both of us.

Appetiser: Alaskan King Crab | passion fruit, alaskan crab cream, avocado mousse, squid ink tuile

Appetiser: White lobster bisque | salmon & lobster cannelloni, capsicum salsa, lemongrass crumbs

My main course: Pan roasted barramundi | purple artichoke, seaweed puree, saffron vanilla cream

My mom's main course: Wagyu beef cheek | duo of potato, chinese kale royale, curry leaf couscous, tomato chutney, port grapes reduction

I was thrown into heaven with the Wagyu beef cheek dish. It was soooo heavenly palatable.
Apparently according to ieatishootipost, "Chef Paul tells me that the Wagyu Beef Cheeks have been slowly cooked at 80 degrees for 12 hours before it was shredded, molded and placed in a delightfully sticky and sweet puddle of Port Wine reduction."
Well, no wonder it was soooooo good, it's a die die must try!

And we had dessert, very yummy dark chocolate molten lava cake with vanilla ice cream soaked in strawberry soup, and a delicate hand crafted Petits Fours (Chocolate truffles and some cake I can't remember and 2 handmade chocolate chip cookies).

The bill came up to the same as it would have if we went to Melt - The World Cafe. So much for avoiding the high costs during the eve of public holiday.

My interest in fine dining is still burning like a slow steady fire.

*Photos above are courtesy from the Facebook group of Private Affairs and ieatishootipost.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Good things to remember in life

1) 没有人是不可代替的,没有东西是必须拥有的。看透了这一点。将来你身边的人不再要你,或许失去了世间上最可爱的一切时,也应该明白,这并不是什么大不了不得的事。
(No one is irreplaceable and there is nothing in this world that is a must-have. Once you have completely understood this,when a close one leaves you, or when you lose everything there is to love in the world,you are aware that it is not that big of a deal at the end of the day.)

2)世界上并没有最爱这回事,爱情只是一种霎时的感觉。而这感觉绝对会随时间,心境而改变。如果你所谓最爱的离开了你,请耐心的等一下,让时日慢慢冲洗,让心灵慢慢沉淀,你的苦就会慢慢淡化。不要过分憧憬爱情的美,不要过分夸大失恋的悲伤。
(There is no such thing as having a most beloved. Love is merely a transient feeling.This feeling will fade with time, and change when circumstances change. One day, if your beloved decides to leave you, please be patient. Let time heal the wounds, let your mind slowly stabilise; thereafter your pain will slowly, but surely be alleviated. Don't look forward to love excessively and don't exaggerate the sadness when love is lost.)

3)你可以要求自己守信,但不能要求别人守信,你可以要求自己对人好,但不能期待人家对你好,你怎样对人,并不代表别人就会怎样对你,如果看不透这一点,只会增加不必要的烦恼。
(You may expect yourself to keep a code of honour, but don't expect others to do likewise. You may expect yourself to treat others well, but don't expect others to treat the same way like you did. How you treat others, may not be how others might treat you back. Having completely understood this, you will have lesser unnecessary worries.)

4)亲人只有一次的缘分,无论这辈子我和你会相处多久,也请好好珍惜共聚的时光;下辈子,无论爱与不爱,都不会再见。
(There is only once in a lifetime opportunity to be family members. It doesn't matter how long we will remain as family members in this lifetime, as long as we treasure the time spent together as a family. Because in the next life, even if we want to be a family again; it will never happen.)

Monday, September 06, 2010

Sweet 18th

I don't know what I've did in my previous life to deserve my current blessed life.

Ever since I've lost things close to my heart, I really learnt to treasure everything and everyone around me over the past year. It's been a good one year of singlehood now. Despite my sudden cravings for a hug sometimes, being single has forced me to open my eyes and mind and take in all the beautiful things that I have taken for granted while being in a relationship. I really treasure my friends around me so much more and appreciate each one of you for who you are. Always reminding myself that everyone is unique and special and that I would reserve my judgement until I really know each friend well before passing off a comment. It has made me more sensitive as a person.

Turning 18 marks the start of the journey of adulthood. There wouldn't be much more new 'keys' to claim anymore besides the 21 mark since I've already enjoyed my fair share of freedom over these years.

In contrast to my previous post on the 4th Sept, I already brainwashed myself to have zero expectations on my actual birthday. I merely wanted a subtle 18th birthday, celebrated with loved ones, people close to my heart. And suddenly, a boring Sunday, that I thought would just be another Sunday, turned out to be so different and special.

Climbers, classmates, the clique. How much more could I ever ask for?
Behind the 2 big surprises are 2 people I have so much to say, and so much to thank for - for pulling the friends around me together to contribute to the surprise.

First it was Guan Hong(my mother of hongsters), I've never had someone as 痴情 as you, to have stalked my blog and all its archives, observing everything that I've said and remembering them, then you continued stalking my facebook and its photos that were more than 4 years worth of memories. It's amazing how you sifted through 1000+ photos. And then, not enough, my close friends and everything that I liked, you knew it right at the back of your hand. I don't know how I can ever make up to you for not being as good a friend as you have been to me. You really teach me a lot even though you say you learn more from me. I can never attain that level of devotion you have for each of your friends around you. Sometimes, it's good to take a break and let someone love you. When will you let me do that and stop being the mother? :)

Next, is the crazy fat bunny bounce Tan Chanel. I think everyone around me know I have this branded friend as my closest friend ever. It's been a crazy journey that we've been together. Feels like we're all kids who have had childish mindless fun and now all grown up to be thinking of alcohol whenever we say "chill". It's like you're my sister whom I've had since young. You know me inside out, upside down. You know my mother, you know my brother, you know my father, you know my uncle, you know my cousins, you know my mom's colleagues, and you have my mom's colleagues as your godmas. Oh gosh... You're really a part of my life. At times I think you make a better daughter than me for my mom because you are so much more caring and loving despite your hard-strong mindedness about things in general. Like you said, I've known you for 6 years, a bloody one third of my life. Imagine all these years and the nonsense that came with it. The only way I can express my gratitude to you is through my declarations of love that you so gladly push them aside as "mad". Nonetheless, I appreciate you so much for being there for me especially in this year, with so much drama, and at all my lowest points in life. Your ahma has gladly become my ah-ma too. I'm contented with a single wish you have for me, that is to
18) BE THE HAPPIEST GIRL IN THE WWW.
You are the ones who have brought all my friends together to celebrate this very special day for me.

GH! Pumps my adrenaline to know how you went to great lengths to bring our classmates & my climbers & a failed attempt at the clique, together.

We actually have quite a drama class put together. I've particularly gotten closer to some of you this year, it must have been fate. The crazy times and jokes that we share, as mindless as it is, they have light up the days in my life. School has already become a second home, one where I spend so much time in, and to have you guys, especially Zac and Xiao Wee, always being guys and being as easy-going and non-judgemental, I am forever grateful for making my school days so juvenile and memorable. It reminds me to be young and reckless, to forget about responsibilities and just be a teenager, like everybody else. To Jeslyn the princess, we have this bond that I cannot explain, it just allows me to be there with you, and we share a mutual understanding without speaking much about our thoughts at all. One of the most genuine and sincere person I know, who isn't afraid to be paiseh at all in front of me, I am so glad to have grown closer to you this year.

The climbers have been an amazing part of my life. The moments where we sweat and shared everything - blood & tears, each of you have reminded me of how blissful I am despite our differences. All the verbal and physical encouragement we have for each other, be it in competition and training-wise, we wouldn't have left a legacy if not for the support from each other. Remembering my birthday has been more than enough for me, because I haven't been a very good friend in remembering each of your birthdays. I am thankful.

PTRC has been a big part of my crazy TKGS and post-TKGS life. We have been meeting quite a lot recently, catching up with each other. Like what Nel told me, about our lives putting together would create a good soppy drama. There is so much that we have shared that I can't find words to express them. They are all mere understatements to whatever I can come up with. I don't know who to thank for having such amazing friends, because I feel like I least deserve all these showering of love from you guys. Deep in my heart, it has moved me greatly. The stone-hearted Jac, has quite a soft heart, after all.

2 surprises, in 1 single day.
18 years of growing up has too many memories that I keep close to heart.
Thank you for being a part of it, yes you.


"It's hard for me... to say the things I want to say sometimes. All I've got to give to you, these 5 words...

Thank you, for loving me

Saturday, September 04, 2010

FD

I realised how much I missed fine dining at a classy 'atas' restaurant. Those kind serve up very small portions and has very tasteful presentation. Knowing Orchard Central has many F&B places to offer despite its ghost-town image, my mom and I explored the place. I noticed OC has the trend of placing the pricier restaurants at higher levels, i.e. the higher you go the more expensive and tasteful the restaurants become. So we went to the highest, at level 12, there was an exquisite Jap restaurant that served minimum $30-40 per item. I wasn't that geared for such splurging, so we headed down one level to OChre. It's an Italian and bar restaurant. I love the ambience of the place. European style with elaborate drinks menu and a slow serving style. We spent about 2-3 hours for our dinner there.

We ordered a seafood tomato soup. As normal as it might sound, it was actually a nice broth combination with strong prawn/lobster taste. I really loved it. I had beef tenderloin with caramelized foie gras on top, while my mom had the lamb chops with cheese fondue for our mains. I would highly recommend the lamb chop because the meat was so tender and the strong lamb taste was almost absent with the creamy cheese taste. It was a rather smart combination I must say. With such a classy ambience, and good service, they actually didn't have service charge! I guess it was a typical American style of tipping but it's in SG so I guess we didn't expect that such a classy place wouldn't have service charge. In the end with 20% off, the bill came up to less than a hundred. Surprisingly affordable for a good fine dining experience!

And there, 18 years of my life. Celebrated in subtleties.

Friday, September 03, 2010

Closeness

Over the years, as I feel myself distancing from my origins and its culture, I no longer pray to my deceased grandparents like what we customarily do on every festival. It was once an extended family affair, with cousins and uncles and aunts all in full numbers meeting up and catching up while spending time at the temples, giving time for the 'spirits' to 'consume' the offerings. Now it has dwindled to nothing... with just remembrance of them in our hearts as time goes by.

No doubt, many Chinese would inadvertently give us some side looks for disrespecting the Chinese culture and its traditions. Nonetheless, I still feel much grounded to my dialect and its associated things. A Cantonese through and through, the older generation always label Cantonese girls as "qia zhar bo" - fierce and hot-tempered. It's not always true, especially not in my case.

Whatever it is, I feel most at home when there's older people conversing in Canto, serving up Canto dishes, and playing Canto songs. The saddest thing is everything is just music to my ears, I appreciate it but I can only understand and speak it minimally. The essence is left there waiting for someone to savour every bit of it. But in today's context, who will that someone be?(other than my mother of hongsters)

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Spillover costs

I was right when I said I would be the last to suffer if anything happens to his computer. Now I'm feeling it, full blast. Woooo.

It's as arduous reading Econs as it is trying to fall asleep with movies/music blasting out of the speakers. At some point, I wished I had lousier speakers with no sub-woofer. The table which I study on, vibrates as much as the bed that I was sleeping on.

Negative externalities? Hell yeah.

Oh oh oh my god. Someone save me.

Just get him some graphics card(that he so conveniently already stole mine once and busted it now) on behalf of me on my birthday to save my life(at least academically-wise).

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

You Are Not Alone

I can be dead
I can laugh my guts out
I can eat a million meals
I can bathe a million times
I can leave the air conditioner on for days
I can feel overwhelming fatigue
I can watch endless movies
I can be someone's lover
I can study endlessly
I can sleep forever
I can be anxious

But why do I feel so
numb
all at the same time?


(If milk could make one drunk, I'd be so wasted by now) Slurps.

Alone time FTW. Loneliness doesn't kill. It gave me time to stop, and think, amidst the crowds that pass me by. They don't mean a thing, at all.

I need to feel the edge right now. What kind of experience would death give? The feeling of losing everything in the face of death, and learning the essence of life. I need that right now because I'm so drowned in the daily pursuits.

I'm not suicidal, I just need to wake up from this dream.

3. more. bloody. months.

Even if it takes me bloodied and ripped, I will walk out of the darkness, gasping for the light and air at the end.