Friday, September 29, 2006

I really don't know whats becoming of our dear Singaporean boys. It's not to be blamed that the number of SPGs are increasing at an alarming rate. I mean, look at what our local guys are doing?!!?
These are just very random pics i found on friendster.

Gay Number 1
Gay number 2
Gay Number 3
Gay number 4
Gay number 5
Gay number 6

urhh myhh pretty pretti gurl iie lorve euu ;;
like iie nvbr ever lurve no one bef0re y0uu . - * _ ]]

And those twits type like that.

I don't know what's wrong, but even that sentence is gramatically unsound. I don't know how foreigners view our local boys. Please save some face for Singapore and be a man normal boy!


Wah, these few days, Joe that crazy guy, give so much maths work. I do until i really wanna cry! T.T
His drilling is really driving me nuts. My head feels a million tonne, my eyes are tearing, and i feel so pek chek and stress. You know i feel like knocking the nuts out of me. Bang!! and die. Hahaha.
Today's english paper was quite alright, lots of spare time to daydream about other stuffs. I'm getting more and more pissed with that teacher. My god! I really don't know how else you can describe a teacher, when invigilating, she can just sit right in front of the class, slouch a little, then start untiying her long skirt and adjust them. MY GOSH!! I really felt like fainting can!! Then she even lifted up her shirt a little so that she can see where she's tying. I saw her ZZZ stomach, so many stretch lines, so black, so sianzzz.
I know this is crap. LOL. But!! Oh my god!!! Peng-san sia.
Where got teacher like that one?!?!? I know she thinks that she's the only one in the class, but, ok enough, i've exclaimed enough. Wahaha!~

Another thing happened during the paper 2. Someone was snoring so damn loudly. It tickled me so much lar. The whole class was so quiet, then suddenly you hear a very distinctive snoring sound. I was trying to hard to contain my laughter!

Today is a crappy mathy day. Tommorrow will be just another mathy day again, maths make me go mad! arghhhhhhhh! Save meee!

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Solutions?

Trying to identify and clarify exactly what is bothering me. Expose the belief behind my emotion or bad feeling. Maybe i can try and open the door to my heart, the beliefs i've acquired will fall away and my true feelings will become evident. Who i'm really am?


"What am I unhappy about?"

Not being myself. I hate myself for not being myself. It's as if there's this layer of pressure is pressing me down to not being able to be myself because of it.

"What is it about that, that makes me unhappy?"

It bothers me because of it's presence.

"Why am I unhappy about that?"

I don't like to be acting like someone else i'm not.

"What would it mean if I were not unhappy about that?"

It would mean that i get very fustrated with myself and naturally vent it on others.

"What am I afraid it would mean if I were not unhappy about that?"

Well, possibly i'm giving others a different perception that i don't want to. That kinda perception should not exist nor happen.

"Why would it have to mean that?"

Maybe it's time to let go some of my beliefs.


If i believe something is bad, i feel bad about it. If i believe something is good, i feel good about it. If i believe that something is neither good nor bad, i don’t have any feelings one way or the other. Most importantly, if i believe that if i were to feel happy in any given situation that it would somehow be bad form, then naturally, i won’t feel good. I'm are now on the threshold, about to take a new step towards being who i want to be. It’s my choice.

I'm hoping to be very sure and clear on my path of thoughts, perhaps this shall be my constant reminder. People changes, time changes, i change myself... for the better. Hopefully, i'm guiding myself in the right direction. It's time to really let go some of my beliefs and just be... myself and be happy.

All unhappiness is the fear that we have a bad attitude for ourselves. We are afraid that something proves we are bad for ourselves in the sense that we are in some way against what we are for, and for what we are against. We are afraid that we have a self-defeating attitude.

The fear that we have a bad, or self-defeating, attitude is the same as distrusting the very source or cause of our motivation. We are unhappy when we believe our very life, our heart, our self is against all that we live for; our personal happiness.

Happiness is the freedom to be as we are, however we are; richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, gaining or losing, succeeding or failing, wanting or not wanting, approving or not approving, forever. Happy is what we are and what we'll be if we don't believe we are wrong to be as we are.

Maybe i've unlocked that door to my heart, hopefully i will be much better.

You guys know how rarely i blog about school, maybe for once, i shall again.
ARGH!
I really don't feel like naming anyone here.
What does a teacher do? There are many different kinds of teachers out there, but, i don't know, just my luck that i always have such lousy teachers.
Teachers who teach just for the sake of teaching, and going through the motions. It really makes a difference. So sometimes, teachers, it's not that students like to critisise you guys, but sometimes, some reflection needs to be done. What have YOU been doing that caused us to respond in such a way?
It's tough being a teacher, but, nothing is impossible. There are many successful teachers out there. Certain teachers really make an effort to simplify things and are more efficient in their teaching methods, you might say they have experience, but i don't see why new teachers should be lacking anywhere in this area. Since they can be qualified to be one, why not put their heart into their career?

Some students however, should be doing some reflection on their own. Sometimes it's the students fault that they do not know how to think. Damn that. Almost 70% of local teens blog i visit, i see the same mono style of their posts. Either they are complaining and cursing every single person out there about their lives and not doing anything about it, or they are just bitching around. Is it quite sad to see that? I guess. Singaporean students really have nothing else to be happy about? STRESS? Screw that. It's all in the mind. Some people really can blog without those words going through their minds. If they haven't noticed, it's damn easy to google on the internet. I just googled some teachers' names, and out came so many links, with whoever and whatsoever sucks. Who sucks more? Themselves. I thought only Primary school kids do such immature stuffs, but guess what? Blogs i read that curses about every single thing happens to be people who are in Secondary and even tertiary levels. Are we that immature, my dear fellow Singaporeans? When will we start to grow up?

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

I was inspired to blog about this topic.
Ripped from Tan's blog: www.icelitany.blogspot.com

"What would it be like for us to grow up? ok lah not say grow up. mayb, for us to reach sec4. will we reach sec4 with a certain maturity in mind or like still be the wilful us now? hahaa i realli cant imagine. ... i doubt jac and sylvia will ever change. since they are like 'raging' everyday in class. mayb they will be tamed down in sec 4 but the term 'tamed' refers to like.. quiet abit, doesnt mean they will be demure or what."

Okay, before we go into the main topic, let me digress a little bit here. The words in Italics, my dear girl, WHAT THE HELL U MEAN RAGING?!?! lol!!!
It sounds very. very. wrong. Siao char bo ma, but i not so siao like that hei ji k. Anyway, it's fun to be crazy in class, i mean, why not? You only live once, and rules are always meant to be broken. =D No need so rigid one, lah.

Let's go back to main topic before i start blabbering.
I haven't thought what it would be like at Sec 4! I think my mind worked a little bit too fast for me, that i already thought what i would do AFTER sec 4. Imagine the 'O' levels, imagine that panic, stress, anxiety, worries and blah blah blah. And you know, being a Virgo, by nature, worries a tad too much.
Imagine how our pinafores would look like, chao short? Like there's this way to differentiate which level you are from by your uniform length. As you promote from a level, the pinafores seem to magically become shorter and shorter. Ha, what magic took place?
Anyway, think about it, pinafores are a good kinda uniform thing, imagine the skirts other sec schools have out there, they are very long, way past knee level. At least pinafores, the length is somewhat around the knee and slightly above. A decent length. But of course, we always have black sheeps among us who spoil the reputation and make their skirt super short, thus, rules are set out from then on. Sometimes, life's just so unfair right?
Sec 4, what can you think of? Of course, people out there like whoever will start to mature mentally, oh well, perhaps a boyfriend too. But people, just keep in mind, that whatever happens, don't forget this chiobu hor! =D You can forget your name, forget your weight, your height, just don't forget me! =P
Whatever the case is, i hope to be able to communicate better with you people at Sec 4, not that we're facing some major communication problems out there right now, but who knows? Heh, then again, age doesn't come with maturity. Oh well!! Perhaps we'll be able to understand each other much better, on a deeper level and maintain a friendship that will last.

Digressing again, about friendships, you know what Tianjun, you're so damn right that friendships do not always remain that status as "friends forever".
It's so cliched. In Primary school days where we "don't friend you!" or either "best of friends forever", and now? As long as having a true friend is all that matters. Such things are redundant to say because, it's the feelings. You can feel if you have a real friend; and not a hypocrite.

Ah, ok, so much for that, sec 4? Definitely can't wait! =D
Everything is all there right in front of us, whether we wanna grab it or let it slip away, it's all our choice. Yet sometimes, certain things are far beyond our reach... no matter how hard we try, we'll never get it. Waiting for that chance, that opportunity; working and working harder towards it each time, all it needs is just that amount of determination and patience, everything will be fine, at least... for me. Hopefully, i don't ruin it right in my own hands again.

What about you?

Sunday, September 24, 2006

It's a beautiful world...

Awww, the cuteness..!Class party 06!SGSkaters Youth xD Ice Skate
Oh yeah, how can we forget all that sweat & hardwork! Came in 1st! =D



Indeed it is.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

On the Swirve Personality Test, I am a Mastermind.
My Characteristics Chart:


Extroverted Introverted
Sensitive Intuitive
Judgemental Perceptive
Thinker Feeler

Read more about Masterminds or take the Test yourself!

About Masterminds...

You're probably best known for your intellect and logical reasoning abilities. You are not the jolly social one. In school, you were considered either the "Most Likely to Succeed" or the "Class Geek". Whereas others prefer simple action games, you prefer strategy and thought. Your mind runs a little fast than most people's, and you'll often find yourself thinking a few steps ahead of everyone else.

Very confident in yourself, you have the potential to be a strong leader. However, you might often just sit and wait for other leaders to screw up. At that point, you take over with a definite goal in mind and make things happen. You're capable of making quick decisions and understanding the rationale behind them.

People hate you. Yes, you heard me right. Being a Mastermind means you're pretty damn smart, and filled with potential. It also probably means others feel inferior to you at times, and that creates resentment. Many Masterminds have a tendency towards arrogance and self-centeredness. That egotism is a turn-off with the opposite sex. Oh well. You have lots of good in you, but no one's perfect. Deal with it.

Possible Careers: Computer Programmer, Lifetime Student

Ha, i'm not so sure about the third paragraph in italics. And, i don't think i'm pretty damn smart, neither self-centred.

Ok, this is just another added version to that.


Well, helloooo, Mr. Burns. Read much of the Third Reich lately? Okay, that was a cheap shot, but you have to admit, you are a weirdo. You value knowledge, competence and structure ... whatever. You are independent, analytical, and determined. Deriving meaning from your visions is what drives you.

You set extremely high standards for yourself and others. You are a natural leader and have the ability to turn theories into solid plans. You know, Napoleon was said to be like this, and we all know what happened to him. Vive le' Resistance!

Possible Career: Super Villian

(For entertainment purposes only)


This is just collected info along the way.


Summary

Jacinda values close, personal relationships, and she will often put the needs and desires of those who are loyal friends ahead of her own needs. She is an even-paced individual who thrives in a peaceful, harmonious environment. Jacinda will work to avoid conflict and sudden changes in her lifestyle and finds joy in keeping tradition.

Neat and orderly, others usually see Jacinda as practical. She needs adequate information to make decisions, and she will consider the pros and cons. She may be sensitive to criticism, and will tend to internalize her emotions. Jacinda likes to clarify expectations before undertaking new projects, and she will follow a logical process to gain successful results.

Jacinda prefers to work through problems by analyzing things that worked in the past. She is willing to follow another person's lead if they display adequate ability and if Jacinda has confidence in their ability. She is someone who is able to lead, if necessary; but usually prefers to wait and see if another person volunteers first.

Jacinda usually avoids being the center of attention. She tends to pick her friends carefully and is usually cautious and not overly "open" to strangers. Jacinda may sometimes come across as being skeptical of what others tell her they will do, but once a person has proven their reliability, Jacinda is willing to invest more time and trust in the relationship.


Oh well, some are fairly accurate, but then again, such tests doesn't really have much credibility in them.


Tadaaaa!
Introducing this highly addictive sweet! Coz i've constantly popped one after another after each is done melting in my mouth, for the past hour. And i hate to say this, but my jaws are freaking sore right now from the constant chewing on the sweets.
Don't worry if you have constipation, this is the cure for you!
Notice the last sentence where it states "May have a mild laxative effect...."

lax·a·tive (lks-tv)
n.
A food or drug that stimulates evacuation of the bowels.

adj.
  1. Stimulating evacuation of the bowels.
  2. Causing looseness or relaxation, especially of the bowels.

That is... consumed in large quantities. xD Well, who knows what the hell they mean by LARGE quantities? 1000 packets of it? I think.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

This is just quite closely related from the previous post.
Actually, i feel i have much to congratulate for myself, and more importantly, my mind, though small and young, they have been containing too much thoughts and holding out for so long.
I can gladly know where all my freaking headaches come from now. Great. They hurt every single minute even when i'm not doing anything...well, unless i sleep, i feel much better. But once i wake, it's just returning back to the orginal torture state again. I need a good head massage... awww.

Hey, look, so much for complaining, i'm actually quite surprised that even adults look up to me. I think my mom have realised that i've changed a whole lot recently, my thinking's all different and much matured compared to last time. When we went out for dinner on that night, her colleague was actually 'asking' how to deal with office politics. Simple. My answer was very simple.

How do you deal with stress and pressure from your superiors? When they tell you to do this, and the next moment, they start scolding you for doing it. Ironic. It puts the person who's doing the job in a very difficult position. And then other colleagues will start the gossips and jealousy will be roused from then on.. favouritsm and so forth.
I have been "trained" since young to withstand all these shit already. By whom? My dad. Whether we did things right or wrong, whether they were unreasonable; we get a lashing from him all the same...until i'm able to take it as though it's nothing. Things happen too much until we numb from them. This is a very good life skill to learn. Though, it takes very strong mental power to treat it as a life skill. Some people give up along the way.

Speaking about that, that's always why, i detest people who show me face/attitude for no good reason. Because i feel, i've already had had more than enough, be it at home or what, so please stop all this. I have zero tolerance level for such. Some people may wonder why i get so easily pissed off by such people, there you go. I've had enough, more than enough, so i just wanna live my own peaceful happy life.



Ok back to topic.
Imagine when you go out to the working society, you'll definitely get scolded for no good reasons, taken for granted, being ordered around. Some people cannot take it, it's the same as 看不开。 Then again, such things take time to learn, to pick up, to see, to feel, to hear. It's not just a simple snap of fingers and we get the true meaning of it overnight.


I think we are meant to live much more than this. I feel it's getting very pathetic. I hear so much every day. About financial matters, stress, quarrels, pressures.
The only thing i feel so sad and disappointed about is the state of what my family has become of.
The conversation between my mom and dad is always something just about another financial matter, if not, family problems about this and that, if not quarrels. And the tone both of them use, is just like a matchstick, waiting; ready to be lighted any moment.
The conversation i mean, quarrel, between my brother and dad always revolve around studies and nothing else. If not my dad starts cursing my brother that he will end up in jail or what not. It's as if i'm the only one holding the whole family together. If not for my brother and i, my mom would have just left all this mess a long time ago. Don't you think it's so pathetic that a once happy family has ended up in such a way? Even i strongly feel so. The root of the problem is actually very simple. But we human, always think with such complexity and make something that is so small into another big mountain. It's such a shame. Too proud to lose? And the problem will just continue forever with no ending. Why can't we all just let go and live our lives for something more purposeful?
I hope those buggers out there start realising that life is not all about a certain thing only. And once again, my favourite phrase: Look at the big picture.
You will find many other opportunities out there.

Monday, September 18, 2006

看不开?

为什么我周围的人,有很多都看不开芝麻绿豆的事呢? 是因为我本身已经看开了很多事了吗? 还是我已想通了很多?
我很不明白。。。有什么好看不开的?结果还不是一样?你看不开,又会有什么好处呢?为何不寻找快乐?不寻找答案,而一直躲避它,远离它; 这样会解决问题吗?
逃避它并不代表你解决了问题啊。。。
我们做人为何为了点小事而搞得那么复杂呢?


何必呢?
Look at the big picture, my dears, this is just another test only. Don't think of giving up just because of one failure, look at what's ahead. Look at the big picture.


给自己多一点希望! 世上,只要坚强,有意志力,没有什么是难得到我们的。不要限制自己的能力,Prove to the world, prove to yourself, you can do it. You know you can.


Screw those losers. Please, fight for yourself, because no one else will if you don't.
I think i'm suffering from OIAWDS. (Once-in-a-while-down-syndrome)

Symptoms -
1) Don't feel like talking.
2) Don't feel like smiling.
3) Gets upset/irritated easily.
4) Heart feels weird.

Ok, i might be having all 4 symptoms, and that's not a good sign. Maybe i have to have some time to clam myself shut and give myself some space to relax again.

Cure -
1) Go KTV?
2) Sleep?
3) Walk right THROUGH the actual problem, not around it.

The 3rd option seems more like reality. It's all just a test, look at the big picture. I need constant reminders! Argh.
Think i'm going to go emo again. Oh my, i just came out from that phase and now i'm entering it again. -.-''
Aww come on... It's alright.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Commandments

Thou shall not smoke.
Thou shall not give face.
Thou shall not allow others to show attitude.
Thou shall be kind and considerate.
Thou shall be caring.
Thou shall not allow others to degrade oneself.
Thou shall live to eat.
Thou shall be strong of thou's beliefs.
Thou shall see, hear and speak no evil.
Thou shall strongly stick to thou's commandments and follow them.

Friday, September 15, 2006

I do realise my posts are damn emo. K, i shall stop being so emo. Emo is a no-no.

Sorry for the crudeness, but what the!?
This is just one of the many other good examples of translated menus you see if you've been in China. What has "干" has to do with "fucks"? I wonder what's up with the translator's mind. Garlic joss-sticks? Yet to try one, though i'm a food lover. Hey, don't forget, it only costs 13元, 人民币。Divide that by 4, around S$3.00+
Oh great, you get to try garlic joss sticks that are "f***ed" before and fried with "sauce meat". Can't wait! Oh hold on a minute, on 2nd thought, i would rather go for Beijing's famous Peking Duck!

Oh besides that, i'm kinda amused at one of my teachers. Today, i got told off for doing maths work during Eng. lesson. We're supposed to be doing some compre practice, and i cleverly forgot to bring my book(as usual). So i thought, hey, why not do something productive rather than building skatecastles in air right? Then, i thought she would AT LEAST not say anything when i'm actually doing some other work, but she came right up and told me off. I looked at her INNOCENTLY, lol, and pretended like, 'oh sorry lar, didn't know cannot do ma, how i know lor' that kinda face. She kept quiet for a while, (think she might have thought i may be right in some way), but obviously, as teachers, they have this face to keep you know. Then she went right on telling us about losing what trust in us and shait like that. So i wonder, if i'm right or she's right? But i still strongly think i'm right lar. Haha! You're there, using the computer, doing your own work, so why can't i? At least it's productive, and not disrupting anybody at all.
Reminds me again, gosh, today is quite a fun day. I was full blasting Westlife - You Raise Me Up in the com. lab during Science lesson. No, Ms. Tee wasn't there. So many of us were actually singing out, then suddenly the door opened, the whole class immediately became darn silent! And suddenly "YOU RAISE ME UUUUUUP!" came from my computer. WAh! Damn paiseh lar! I was laughing until buay tahan lor. K, i think i have been teasing and cracking up a few teachers in school already. First, our dear chinese teacher, and i always remind her to miss me after each lesson "记得要想我哦!" Lol! Then dear science teacher, i can't seem to not be guai lan to her whenever i see her. She is so damn serious and that is what tickles me. When she knew she obviously said something funny, she can actually keep a straight face and acted as if nothing happen. Of course, i still remember asking Mr. Zaini, notice MR., k, obviously, a GUY, joining my jaccy-chiobu gang. First guy k! Must remember one. Hahaha! Still remember it went like:
Chu: "Do you think jacky is pretty?"
Mr. Zaini: "Hmmm,*looks at me*, not bad!"
Lol, i was damn thick-skinned lar. Anyway, he's a great joker also. Hope i leave an impression behind for all these dear teachers.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Parental Upbringing

I think this is sort of directed at you, Chu. Since i can't msg nor talk to you. Maybe when you chance upon this entry, hopefully you'll feel better.
I feel that if i were you, in your position, with your family and all that, maybe i could be feeling the exact same thing as you. Well, perhaps you haven't realise this... but your parents are bringing you up in this kinda way, is actually strict, yet it's very good. Good for you, because up till now, i think your parents have done a great job in bringing you up. Actually, i don't know much about your parents backgrounds. But till now, as you can obviously see, BOTH your parents are actually holding a status in the society. Not just any status, but they are highly respected by a lot of people out there.

Let's say, if you were to put yourself in your parents' shoes, obviously, as parents, we want to show that our kids are well brought up with manners, and they have the right values in them. Because if something goes wrong, the blame gets pushed to the parents themselves. You might not have realised this, but in reality, many people judge the way you behave by how well your parents have brought you up. Not only you, but every other individual out there too.

Not saying that, just because your parents have a status in the society, that's why they have to have this role model thing. It's just what every parent wishes their child to be. They want them to be good mannered and be responsible. I mean, who doesn't want their kids to be? So, sometimes, you might not understand why your parent behaves in such a way, that it might hurt your feelings, but at the end of the day, she is still doing it for you. She's sacrificing her time just to spend more time with you guys. Will i ever have that chance? No. At least, since young till now, i haven't got that chance. Your dad is really a fantastic guy. Really. He balances his work and family so well, and he forgoes his own needs. I'm very envious, who doesn't want a dad like him? And i bet you love both your parents just as much as they love you. He still finds time to pick you up from school and head home for lunch together regardless of his job and how busy he is. Sometimes, i wish so much to have a family like yours, but no matter what, it's out of the question. There are 3 things in life that we cannot change, Life, Parents and Death. I live with it. I get used to it. I'm contented.

What you are going through now, is just a stage of normal growing up. Your sis have went through this before she got all her freedom too. It's just a matter of time. Sometimes, we do feel sad, but think about it, there are actually much more other people out there who are worse off than you. =)

On a lighter note, i found this on google.
http://www.pap.org.sg/images_06candidates/pdf_tancs.pdf
Please be proud of yourself and your family!

And i think that picture, is really true happiness. :) Psst, you look like retard when you were young! My god! Now you so chio. Can't tell hor :P

Friends?

As the title says, i have been wondering what will happen if one fine day, my close friends leave me. What a thing to think about. I can't help but ponder about this. People do walk in and out of your life, it's only a matter of how you look at it. But still, amazing what my brain does when i'm bored...

Sometimes, such stuffs are left for nature to control, if people wanna leave, let them. Though you might try to salvage a particular situation, it isn't foolproof. Have you ever wondered if your closest friends decide to leave you one day...? I seriously don't know; or perhaps, i don't dare to think about it.

I think i have started to take things for granted. Your friends are just like a reflection of you in the mirror; vice versa. Sometimes, the way you treat someone, that person treats you back in the same manner. "What comes round, goes round." I have been wondering why of all friends, it's just the minority few that behaves like that. And, i reflect upon my own actions, is it me? Or them just behaving like that, and i'm actually their reflections. Perhaps it's just me. Cos' many of you guys know, i have my own character, and actually a very strong personal character. I say what, and i mean it. I usually am not bothered about what others think of me, as long as my conscience is clear and i'm very sure of what i'm doing. And THAT's probably what's widening the gap between the minority ones and me. Because, i don't give a damn and the other party realises that too. Ha! So ironic. Hmm, is that a right thing to do? I wonder. You can't just possibly get along with EVERY single one out there right?
Oh well, that's just life.


Peace out! :)

Oh yeah, i think i'm seriously in need some wrist guards for skating, before my bones start jutting out of my 'already so skinny' wrist. My palm is all swollen after taking only a few impacts!!! Arr! So weak.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Fly fly fly...away

Time flies. Time really flies.
Just about couple months back, i had spent some time every day making an effort to go up to the roof garden(which hardly anyone, except my mom appreciates). And now, i'm neglecting that little space that actually work wonders to my heavy head. I would lay on the chair for about an hour, listening to the sounds of the environment. Peaceful, calm, relaxed. Then, i would wait for the sunset... it was definitely worth the wait. And i have lots to thank Tianjun during this period of time when he taught me a lot about Photography. Sad to say this Tj, but i think your student, still hasn't surpassed you yet. Hahah!These are just multiple shots of the sun setting. Amazing and fascinating. Why do i appreciate nature so much. And, no, that is not a question. Notice the full stop. I miss watching the sun sets, some time, i should go back up there again. My haven. Oh, and the slalom markings i made up there, are probably gone from the rain and all. Aww well, it's quite funny actually. I'm slaloming in such a confined area, with added possiblities that i might just fall over the railings. I'm never gonna be able to capture such a picture already. The moments are gone. Sad to say, but we have to live and let live.

It's just a few more months before we are graduating from sec 2s. And soon, O lvls. What's next? I haven't thought of yet. Been thinking for a very long time, got opinions from many people, but i still can't decide. Go to a JC? Poly? NAFA? And a new option, going abroad to further pursue Interior/Architectural Design. JC route would mean another 2 more years of books and more books. Am i really interested to go for that? Poly would mean be more specialised in the courses that i plan to take. If i do plan to go TP's Design School, then, why not NAFA? Hmmm. What about NAFA? How reliable is it? What if i don't do well, back up plans? Overseas, money-wise should not be a problem, on the other hand, should i? Can i? So many questions that i've yet to find an answer to. Please enlighten me, anyone.

Soon, it's just another phase of life, stepping into the society. Working our asses off till we grow old...retire. Of course, it's not gonna be as smooth-sailing as it sounds. I look forward to the exciting adventures n' challenges ahead!
Source of post: www.positiveindignation.blogspot.com.
It's definitely worth of time to read his posts.

"... I believe that before you start any relationship, you should at least be looking forward to an optimistic future....or rather, you should at least BELIEVE that both of you can reach that future together."

"So how does this link to differences? Because it is differences that stop some from believing in relationships. It was also partly "differences" that kept me from venturing a step forward. Half the time, they (people who don't believe in relationships) have the reason to -- how can you get along with someone for the rest of your life (or at least some part of your life) if you can't reach her/his world and she/he can't reach yours?"

And i'm still venturing about, and around...in time to come, perhaps forward, because the belief is there n' it's strong.
Like the crazy hunger thing isn't enough for me, i think i'm sleep "deprived" too. I feel like sleeping almost whenever i'm not doing anything...well, anything that's productive. I think i'm starting be pignified and not personified. Ha! The computer is definitely one of the greatest and IMHO distracting inventions on Earth.... because whenever i get the motivation to bury myself in those piles of books, my eyes just get glued right onto the screen. Damn! Any good & workable advice for this poor girl?
Let's see, i've not ran for weeks! More than a month already, i suppose. All my usual stamina has definitely plunged. And no, i don't want that to happen! So lazy to go for a run. Not that i've found any good place to go running anyway.
Oh, and i think most of you, or maybe just for those less observant ones, have noticed that my knees are not growing properly...in my opinion. Well, you see, they are not the typical straight kinda knees, but i have smaller knee caps that protrudes in sideways. I do think my legs are starting to look like a guy's. So... unfeminine. That is, in the case for a girl's lah. We were just comparing our legs in class, (for i dunno what reasons). I've been told many times that my knees are wierd. I can feel them acting wierd too. Times when i feel just some sharp pains in the joints for whatever reasons even if it's just normal standing and not even moving. Hmmmm. I think netball is detrimental to my knees.
Oh by the way, the brain is a very strong and amazing organ. People have said whenever they are in their sleep... and dreaming in an environment where they almost nearly die, but just at the moment when they are gonna be killed for whatever reasons, they get jolted out of their sleep. Is that a way of the brain telling us that the soul is not ready to accept being 'dead' ? Personally, i've never had any dreams in a longggggggggg time. (Obviously, that means i always have good nights) Even if i do dream, the next day, i'll just have no recollection of what i dreamt of. However i do notice something that before i sleep, and if i have been pondering/thinking/missing/wondering or whatever vocab along that line very deeply, i will dream of that something/someone/some place. But those dreams are always very unreal...things that will never happen in reality. So let's say if i miss someone terribly, i will end up dreaming of that person, and some of the time i will end up crying. Wierd? And i don't know why i will cry. But it's not common... so i guess it's just a phase of letting out the chemicals in me cos' i rarely cry.
I've changed certain impressions of certain people recently. Some has changed for the better, some for the worse. Good for those who changed for the better, you guys should know yourselves very clearly on this one. Well, and for the worse? I dunno. It's something that i've decided not to care too much about anyway.. i hope.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

I seriously don't know how i'm just gonna contain all this shit in me... but i have 0, yes, i do mean ZERO tolerance level for sorelosers. I feel so crapped up by these people.
The topic today is about songssss.
I'm in love with this song! It was sang by Jonathan last week.
Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
Search it on www.radioblogclub.com if you're interested.
Great song, great tune, great lyrics.

Recently, Jay's new album came out. I think i'd prefer Nov' Chopin album to this. There's a new song "千里之外", found it very unique. It's a duet by Jay himself, and Fei Yu Qing! Imagine, how this 2 can ever be together lor. One mumbler king, the other's voice so crystal clear. i think Jay made an effort to not mumble his words through in this song. And yes, Jay's voice is very high for a guy! My god, you hear when he sang his parts especially in the chorus... so high and he tries to make his words audible. It really emphasises how high he can hit. I don't even think i can hit such a high note sang in his other songs, or maybe i didn't try. =\ Hahaha!

Anyway, i don't understand why you guys wanna sing Chorale songs for Music Lessons! I think i would rather be off hitting the books lor. I wanna play guitar lei! zZzZ don't want the guitars to rot inside the music room ok. xD Arrr, no offence. HAhaha, later i go back school, everyone who voted for singing is gonna come n whack me. =X
I've been rather greedy these few days. I get hungry so soon even though i had such a filling meal about 2 hours back. Hmmm. And the surprising thing is, i didn't even do any exercise after my meal. Unless you call sitting in front of the computer and clicking the mouse/typing on the keyboard as exercising lah. =X Talking about that, i think i'm hungry right now. And i just had my dinner less than an hour ago. I ate mixed veg+rice, a big bowl of soup, and fruits. Plus chocolates. And NOW, my stomach's telling me its HUNGRY! -.-'''
Quote Paragraph of the day:
"i find u a really nice girl la, guai lan at times but that makes u more geniune? haha. and caring too. Although u pretty much ignore a person when he or she irritates u and u can become one of the meaniest person. But guess u are willing to hear people out and help them out, although u always reply with a "strip and dance la!" when people come WHINING to u that they are bored."

Another one of this kinda very interesting descriptive post about me. Hahaha, decided to post this cos' its rare for this person to praise ok! Anyway, just crapping around.
Final year's approaching already. Everyone start revising k, the last lap to go! Hopefully, i'm able to get my first choice. And i do realise that my standard is NOT on par with the rest. Arrrrr! Damn it. Studies is not everything, but then again. Haiz!!

Monday, September 11, 2006

Hey, i guess i'm normal-rated. Just as normal as anyone else can be :P

Sunday, September 10, 2006

This was posted at STOMP "http://www.stomp.com.sg/gallery/"

The first thing that comes to my mind was that the children are just having fun. Of course, it poses a danger and all. I know some Singaporeans are just concerned over these matters. But seriously, sometimes, if it's not your kids hor, also no need kaypo so much lah. Since their own parents didn't teach them the proper ways; and even IF they did, let the kids learn it by themselves lah. Accidents do happen, and that's also when people start to learn from their mistakes. Kids will never believe anything is dangerous/bad until they have a vivid memory of that something. As you can see, the majority of us had much childhood stories to tell, those mischievous times, when parents could do nothing. This is just part and parcel of growing up. Why kids can't have their own freedom also? I mean, who's never done that on a playground before lor. If they don't wish such things to happen, might as well, lock the kids up and be good boy/girl. I dare to make such comments, because i've been through that stage before too. Everyone has.
I still remember in my Primary school days. My brother and i with another friend, we would always get together after school, and have what we called last time, 'fun'. We created our own explosives using those firecrackers gunpowder, wrap them up into a ball and lighted it. It exploded with so many colours from the crackers! And resulted in very bad air pollution. I remembered times when we got burnt by stuffs like that, but, our parents never really bothered because they knew it's just how kids are supposed to learn. They don't know what is call pain until they feel it. Playground, is just another place to have fun, and everywhere has danger one lah. No matter how much we can TRY to prevent, things always happen at the most unexpected times. I was very playful during my young times, partly cos' my parents aren't overprotective of us and just let us have our fun. I sat on the swing and found no kick in it, swang higher and higher, the swing nearly flipped the other way round. From that time onwards, i was so freaked out i dared not swing so high le lor! See, this is how kids learn. No amount of words can get into their head until they experience it themselves.
Sometimes, i see parents nowdays so protective of their kids until i've got nothing to say. Where's all the fun already? It's taking their childhood away from them. Let them have their fun, it's just part of life, they will learn and grow up like every other child out there to be the next successful generation.



Your True Love Is a Sagittarius



Why you'll love a Sagittarius:



Deep and philosophical, you'll love getting lost in hours of conversation with your Sag.

Your Sagittarius is curious and adventurous enough to keep you interested... not an easy task!



Why a Sagittarius will love you:



You're passionate about a few important issues, a kind of depth that Sagittarius finds very attractive.

You're outgoing, flexible, and up for almost anything. You and your Sag will have tons of adventures together.


Now, who's a Saggitarius? LOL! Yaya, i know i know, like that also can right!! =X

Saturday, September 09, 2006

The Persistance of Memory
Painting by Salvador Dali

Artworks has always been one of the most fascinating things in this world. The first time i came across this painting, i thought they wanted to bring across something relating to time. And, i was partly correct. Notice that the clocks are painted in such a way that it appears very sloppy and draggy. To me, it's something that's saying people take 'time' for granted. Just letting it pass every day as it always does.

"The painting shows four soft watches, one of which has a fly showing that time flies and another is being devoured by ants that shows decay. This is widely seen as a commentary that time is less rigid than people usually assume."

The Disintegration of the Persistance of Memory

"To Dalí, this image was symbolic of the psychological effect that the advent of the atomic bomb had on humanity."

见山是山
见山不是山
见山还是山

Actually when Chu first told me that, i had no idea what it meant. To put it simply, it means to different people they may have different perceptions about things they see. This makes me realise that, that is why everyone has their own opinions, their own thoughts. For some strong headed people, they just refuse to be more open-minded and accept other people's thinkings. Hehe, food for thoughts. Thought it was worth thinking more than just that. =)

Friday, September 08, 2006




You Are a Auditory Learner



You tend to remember what you hear, and you have a knack for speaking well.

You excel at debating, foreign languages, and music.

You would be an excellent diplomat - or rock star!


I do agree that i remember things that i hear. Speaking well? Hmmm, i guess so! Haha!
Only thing, rock star? I WISH!!!

Purpose in life

[Tianjun, this is a reply for you since you directed that question at me. :P Feels like we're playing some kinda blog game or what.]

As quoted from Tianjun's blog "Have you ever wondered what you are going to do after you grown up and got a stable job with high income ( if you are ever going to get there ).[ Jac, this question is slightly directed to you la. xD no offence. I understand you have most of your life planned out already, but i believe only to the extent of owning a interior design company or something this right ? Have you ever thought what you are going to do after you have successfully set up your company ? ]"

Well, seriously, good question boy, i've never thought out so far yet. Firstly, i have planned if there were failures in setting up a company. It's not as easy as it sounds. Therefore, i have other plans in the back of my mind other than setting up a company. Maybe be an employee, hold a stable job without worries. BUT, thing is, it will start to get very routined and might seem pointless after few years down the road. Cos' i'll be turning my interest into something just to earn money. So as to answer the 2nd question of what i'm going to do IF i successfully set up a company; and of course have high annual turnovers. I think if i should become a millionaire by age of 30, work till 45 or so. Retire and spend the rest of my time with all my loved ones. That is what i'll call a success and of course living the true purpose in life ;) Well, who knows, life's so unpredictable. I might become a toilet cleaner for all you know. LOL! [Obviously, not that i plan to, but life is unpredictable :P] Ok, pun intended. I think you have plan out your life really well and exciting. I mean, everyone has different opinions. So right now, what we really have to worry about, is STUDY HARD! Jia you, jia you, JIA YOU! All the best for both you and me and everyone else out there! =)

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Inspired by Switchfoot's - Meant To Live

A song, though simple, yet carried much meaning in it.
"We were meant to live for so much more...
have we lost ourselves?"
I've been so bored the whole day. Supposed to be studying...Ahhh. Procrastination. Damn it. Seems like i've slacked off the past few days until now no mood to hit the books again. Sian!!! Come on man, need some motivation.
Just passing time...



What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You



You are a very considerate person, but that doesn't mean you let people walk all over you.



Your look is put together, classic, and stylish. You always look fashionable without trying.



You have the perfect blend of confidence and class. You're proud of who you are - but you don't broadcast it.



In relationships, you are practical and realistic. You have a romantic side, but you only let it out when it's appropriate.






Your Element Is Water



A bit of a contradiction, you can seem both lighthearted and serious.

That's because you're good at going with the flow - but you also are deep.



Highly intuitive, you tune in to people's emotions and moods easily.

You are able to tap into deep emotional connections and connect with others.



You prefer a smooth, harmonious life - but you can navigate your way around waves.

You have a knack for getting people to get along and making life a little more peaceful.






You Are More Mild Than Wild



You're confident, and you really aren't concerned with how "hot" you are.

Other people's ideas of what's sexy don't concern you. And this is exactly what makes you attractive.






You are Agnostic



You're not sure if God exists, and you don't care.

For you, there's no true way to figure out the divine.

You rather focus on what you can control - your own life.

And you tend to resent when others "sell" religion to you.






You Are 80% Grown Up, 20% Kid



Congratulations, you are definitely quite emotionally mature.

Although you have your moments of moodiness, you're usually stable and level headed.



That's about it. Still unmotivated. Argh~ Jus gonna hit some books and that's it.
Yesterday was the best day in my life, never felt so happy for a long long long time already. So heartwarming... =)
Will remember this special day as long as i possibly can...
Hmmm, early in the morning, my maid wished me a "happy burstday!" That face is so retarded! ~
Not long Sally, Chu arrived at my house le, ready to set off to pick up the rest. Had lunch, and proceeded to Kakaoke le. Sang majority Jay Chou's songs and the english old boy band songs.. .brings me back to my past again.. those old boy bands'.. =)We saw this song which had such a unique title lor~ And this is the outcome... lol!~ Wah piang, this is actually the lyrics of the song lor~ Then still had "Sylvia's mother says Sylvia is busy" We all almost died laughing there!Then my lovely dear frens surprised me by selecting this song and sang karaoke for me! So sweeeet! =) Think it's quite blur, it's the Happy Birthday To You song.After the session ended... with smiles plastered all over our faces. Ah, still remember, i was damn high la~ lol!Thanks alot my dear girls!

After the party and crazying with friends, went out for dinner with family.

Here we are, where we sinned so much right there ^^First one right up, my favourite Sharksfin soup lor! Too bad it's so little~Next thing up the menu was Australian Lobster Sashimi! It is soooo fresh okay. The lobster was still moving somemore! Ya, that's how fresh they prepared it. It's my rare chance getting to eat this k. Look at that amount of meat...great, im tempting myself too much again. Notice somewhere behind the lobster got a pot of prawns, they were still hopping around inside lor, soaked with liquor. It's freaking huge la the head. My brother got freaked out cos its still alive and all~ Lol! Imagine lor, on your dining table, your eating something that is still moving..~ Scary...So cruel! Hahha~ What to do... And this was the result, superb!Next was the snow crab, I've never eaten this in my life. First timer. The meat is damn sweet and juicy lor. Don't judge a book by its cover. That crab was very huge~Crayfish! The taste is still lingering in my mouth. Very very very nice. Was playing with the lobster shell after that... lol. And no, lobster doesn't represent Singapore :P Merlion does. ;)
The restaurant specially prepared it F-O-C for my birthday! So nice right! I could't bear to eat the heart shaped jelly =XAnd i spent a bomb just on that dinner. Not exactly me, but my mom. My god, just one night, she's half a k poorer le. But it was definitely worth, and once in a lifetime! I feel so bloody fortunate okay. If only everyday were that everlasting. I hope... =)
Thank you very much to everyone who sent their well wishes to me, appreciated it a whole lot! =D